Forget Nightmare on Elm Street – it’s Nightmare on Cranleigh High Street!!
Just when you thought it was safe to heave a huge sigh of relief, Povey-Power is about to be inflicted all over again on the East of the Borough!
In a classic case of Hobson’s Choice: the Tory-Tossers had to choose between Uriah Heep (AKA Alan Young) & Fagin (Andrew Povey). Some choice!
We told you all about the Pre-Election Stress Disorder phenomenon that struck the East of the borough just a few weeks ago.
Now, hang onto your blue rosettes, because Post Election Stress Disorder is about to hit the High Street as ‘The Comeback Kid’ ricochets back onto the Cranleigh / Ewhurst scene! No doubt The Surrey Ad has swopped its allegiance now its usual Kodak Kid has been ditched in four of its NBF (New best friend) – Kodak Povey!
“If you are out there Rosaleen Egan – get your Rebocks on and hit the Cranleigh / Ewhurst pavements because Jesus Mary and the Joseph – AKA Guildford Conservative Associations – has just answered all your prayers!
Now, take a deep breath and readers of a sensitive disposition look away, because this news comes with a Waverley Web health warning! Who’s soon going to be pulling ‘Your Surrey’s’ county council strings?
Sadly the new broom many over there in the East had hoped would sweep County Hall clean and restore faith in local politics – Phillip Townsend – has not been selected to stand. No! we hear you cry! NO, surely it cannot be?
Here’s your candidates: it’s called HOBSONS CHOICE.
In the Blue Corner –
Here you have Andrew Povey – disgraced former `leader of Surrey County Council, who with a knockout blow, beat off the competition.
It really is quite extraordinary that with a population of over 300 hundred million people the USA could only dredge up two totally unsuitable people to compete for the Presidency – Clinton and Trump?
Likewise, in the whole of Eastern Waverley – with a population of 12/13,000 soon to be nearer 20,000! – the Tory Tossers were reduced to sending in the disgraced former leader Gotta-pick-a-pocket-or-two-or-three – none other than Dr (as he likes to be known!) Andrew Povey.
Want to read more about the disgraced former Leader of Surrey County Council, whose colleagues took a vote of no confidence in him, and yet is now predicted to be Surrey County Council’s very own Comeback Kid? Bet David Hodge & Co can hardly wait?!?! Even some of them will be registering in Cranleigh and voting UKIP!
Really makes you wonder doesn’t it? The man pictured above by our own staff photographer, is the very same man who introduced Politics with a great big capital P into the village council chamber over 20 years ago, abandoned it for his race up Surrey County Council’s greasy pole, reaching the top only to slide down it faster than Usain Bolt on speed ! Now selected to take over the reins of Uriah Young (AKA Alan Young) . But when we look at who they’ve replaced him with we can’t help wondering why they bothered?
“SOD GROWING LETTUCES WHO NEEDS FOOD WHEN YOU CAN GROW MONEY” – BUNNIES EAT LETTUCE AND IF THUMPER NEXT DOOR CAN GET 425 THEN I CAN GET 265!”
Here at the Waverley Web we couldn’t decide whether the music to accompany the latest deluge of houses to be dumped on Cranleigh should be – Rubber Ball, or In Out, In Out and Shake it All about, BUT FINALLY WE DECIDED IT HAD TO BE ‘ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST’
– AS THE PLANNERS RIDE ROUGHSHOD OVER “POOR OLD CRANLEIGH”
The Knowle Park Initiative, West Cranleigh Nurseries, AKA A2 Dominion, AKA Nicholas Vrijland’s application for 265 dwellings in ELMBRIDGE has been bouncing in and out of Waverley for more than ten years. Just goes to show if you hang on in there shoving it in and out, you can bore your way into VICTORY!
As we predicted an approval was a foregone conclusion – because “Your Waverly has decided that Cranleigh New Town is-a-coming – whether they, the villagers over there in the East, like it or not! Well after all Cranleigh – ‘Your Waverley’ has given away our Farnham Town to developers so what chance your village?
Once again here at the Waverley Web – our flabber is absolutely ghasted!
Chief Planning Honcho Liz The Biz Sims forged ahead like a steamroller over fresh tarmac as she almost beat members of ‘Your Waverley” into submission in her efforts to get another shedload of houses onto the Cranleigh flood plains. Is she actually employed by the developers?- because she was so determined that application would go through COME HELL OR HIGH WATER! How much more partisan can you get? Can anyone out there remember the days when planning officers ADVISED councillors not HORSEWHIPPED THEM? Shouldn’t someone should be reining her in? So the final vote was 8 For – 8 Against with Peter Isherwood chairman’s casting vote in favour clinching the deal. Has he ever opposed anything?
What we want to know is? Why did six members absent themselves from such an important meeting. Cranleigh’s Stennetts have good reason ‘a pecuniary interest’ in the application, but why did Mike Band,(not that he turns up for any contentious applications) Pat Frost, Stephen Hill, Stephen Mulliner, and David Hunter not turn up? We accuse them of cowardliness and not wanting to vote on a very unpopular application, (although A Touch of, Pat Frost doesn’t usually care how unpopular she is!)
Liz Townsend and Mary Foryszewski were forceful, coherent and factual in their declarations, as were the Cranleigh Civic Society spokesman and the Cranleigh Parish Councillor, all to no avail. It wasn’t for the want of trying that they failed in their futile but passionate attempts to make the planners take Cranleigh’s issues seriously.
In one valiant effort after another Councillor Mary Foryszewski did her damndest to parry Liz the Biz’s blows. – Where was the Cranleigh Representation? The Stennett Duo again, or the mealy-mouthed Ellis who together with her late departed husband worked tirelessly to get the application called in more times than balls bounce at Wimbledon! Couldn’t she have filled in for an absent colleague to support the one lone Cranleigh vote in the stinking Chamber Pot that has become – ‘Your Waverley.’ Cowardly or what!
Questions must surely be asked why the late Brian Ellis’s seat on the JPC has not been filled by another Cranleigh Councillor – it is quite obvious to everyone in Cranleigh – that Elizabeth Townsend has been prevented from taking her rightful place? She was allowed to speak But NOT VOTE – WHY? CRANLEIGH PEOPLE DESERVE AN ANSWER!
Perhaps because she knows that they know that the KPI fails the vital Sequential Test and that the homes built there will have higher footings to fend off flooding – but what about all the other homes in Elmbridge that don’t have that protection? Do they run for the hills?
It must be quite sickening for people in the Eastern villages to listen to the constant stream of “sympathies and condolences” extended to “poor old Cranleigh” by Waverley councillors. Surely the time has come for Cranleigh Parish Council to hold a PUBLIC MEETING and to call all their elected representatives to account?
Brian Adams – Portfolio Holder for Planning was condescending, almost to the point of rudeness, when he insulted the rights and intelligence of every elected member by suggesting that because the site is in the Daft Local Plan they had to vote for it!! He also claimed that the Secretary of State had “really put the cat among the pigeons by Calling in the Dunsfold application.” We think he probably means – put the diggers into more green fields.”
Claims of “Blue Asbestos in the water supply” effluent in the stream chortling its way to poison Bramley and overloaded stinking poo factory, crowded roads, antiquated school buildings, inadequate GP facilities, and overdevelopment fatigue were – totally ignored. So were fractured water pipes, highway problems and road closures! Why because the East, in particular Cranleigh , has become your Waverley’s Promised Land – overflowing with – ‘shit and money’ much of which will be coming from its countryside clothed in concrete.
Out go jobs and lettuce growing – a horticultural tradition in Cranleigh about which the Flying Dutchman boasted the country needed – for 50 years (mainly when he needed planning permission Oh! and didn’t he take his neighbour to the High court and win damages for his lettuces? – and in comes concrete and bricks. Out goes top quality agricultural land – in comes the Wandsworth Wanderers and the Wimbledon Wives, hope they bring their green wellies with them! . Because If you can Adam and Eve it one officer said: that the land was “only subject to flooding when there were flash floods that quickly subsided , so no-one would be trapped on site for long!! Well that’s alright then!
Cranleigh’s Boudicca bowled a googly at the officers when she told them that there was now an advertisement in Cranleigh for new houses on the five-year old Swallowhurst development – asking buyers to: “Make me an offer.”
It is well-known locally the million pound homes on clay subsoil are suffering from settlement problems and flooding!
Every resident over there in the east should listen to the first part of the Webcast. Start at 3 mins 20and hear for themselves the good reasons eight councillors opposed exactly the same application they had also refused only six months earlier. Is that the Cranleigh sewer we can smell or is it – ‘Your Waverley’?
Cranleigh Parish Councillor Richard Bryant for the Cranleigh Civic Society and Councillor Brian Freestone for Cranleigh Parish Council excelled themselves, and it was horrifying to hear of the litany of infrastructure/water/sewage/flooding problems which villagers have and will face in the future. And…did we hear the distant sound of “Legal Challenge’ mentioned.
But it was Councillor Liz Townsend who told her colleagues on the council she so recently joined Cranleigh’s mood was turning ugly and villagers felt under represented and their views and concerns were consistently ignored by Waverley’s planning decision makers. KPI Was “unsustainable” and was the least favoured site in the vital Sequential Test – Hewitts was now coming forward with 120 homes and the School site in central Cranleigh with over 90 – and, why was a new Recreation Centre being planned with a KPI contribution, without any consultation to Cranleigh PC on the parish owned – Snoxhall Playing Fields, she asked?
WW wonders if ‘Your Waverley” intends to do away with the ‘local voice’ altogether – so watch out all you other parish council out there – it could be your turn next!
By-Pass Byham obviously wants more traffic on Bramley’s roads – he couldn’t wait to stick his mit into the air. Ah! but of course it is only Dunsfold’s traffic he opposes isn’t it. But his parish council happily trousers a cash hand-out for all those HGV’s thundering through his High Street on their way to deposit their loads at Cranleigh Brick and Tile. Judas!
Look at the spectacularly failing sequential test if you want a good laugh/cry?
OR WILL THE LAST PERSON LEAVING ‘CASH COW’ CRANLEIGH PLEASE – FLUSH THE TOILET?
“Your Waverley”s Joint Planning Committee Numpties who are on a roll – all over the East and the West of the borough – will be at it again tomorrow. So Cranleigh get your concrete boots and your wellington boots ready!! Because they are off again!!!
This cartoon certainly applies to the new redesignation of the East of the borough including “Poor Old Cranleigh” as the ‘new town’ has been dubbed by “Your Waverley Councillors.”
No doubt poor old Mary Foryszewski will be fighting tooth and nail to stop yet another 265+ homes being built on the lowest point in Cranleigh by the Knowle Park Initiative (now re-named A2 Dominion – same people new name) in the beleaguered Elmbridge area of Cranleigh New Town. Ah well – it is the only road in and out of Cranleigh that isn’t sporting a set of traffic lights or a…
No doubt the Stennett Duo will either remain silent or declare yet another “pecuniary interest” due to all those ‘not so secret meetings with their friend the Cranleigh Lettuce lout. Let’s hope Cranleigh’s digger driver has a groundworks contract to add to his lucrative ‘Your Surrey’ waste recycling contract in the bag? Let’s also hope that when they slink out of the Council Chamber this time – they do Cranleigh residents a big favour, and never return!
Then it would give an opportunity for properly elected representatives to actually represent the views of some very angry Cranleigh people! Who … are becoming more angry by the minute!
Bramley’s By-Pass Byham will however support the application, despite being worried about the increase in traffic – because he is only concerned about traffic leaving Dunsfold New Town not Cranleigh New Town. After all, the cars are different leaving Dunsfold…’they have Wings not Wheels’ don’t they.
And doesn’t he believe, in common with Cala Homes, that everyone travels to Cranleigh by train!!
Now councillor Byham, and all you other thickoids that we entrust with the future of our towns and villages – the owners of these homes will probably be arriving by boat!! Because here’s part of the site pictured in 2014... Still it’s only a big puddle according to Cranleigh resident ‘Batty Bamford’ that he claims – old ladies moan about!
Alfold Road Access to West Cranleigh Nurseries. Get your wellies on chaps?
Oh and just in case you need a little light reading here’s some info about flood insurance! http://www.cranleighsociety.org/2017/02/21/flood-insurance-new-homes/not that we expect the planning plonkers to take much notice of that – do we – after all they won’t live there, work there or even represent the area at the next election… will they? They will have tucked their planning permissions neatly under their big fat belts and buggered off into green pastures new – that’s of course, if they can find any?
Want to read what the Cranleigh Society thinks of ‘Your Waverley”? Read it here..though they are far more polite than we are! Here’s a sample if you don’t have time>
Do we hear the distant call for a Merger Coming on? Maybe 600 Surrey councillors/allowances/expenses/ is just too many?
That dear readers, was Young Narcissus (AKA Councillor Alan Young ) crashing, banging and flailing his way down the greasy political pole he has been so assiduously clambering up in recent years.
Just like a contestant in a game of Snakes & Ladders (the key word here is snake!) Young Narcissus slid all the way down the board on Friday evening to land on his arse! Brings to mind that lovely Tommy Steel number in Half A Sixpence:
‘old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet Bangin’ on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your fam’ly album
However, this was no musical comedy. This was real life in the Surrey Suburbs – yes, we know that those of you who’ve emigrated from Nappy Valley (AKA Wandsworth Common) like to think you’ve moved to an idyllic rural utopia but, in reality, Surrey is just a suburb of Greater London.
The Young Narcissus (YN) and his cohorts’ conspiracy to take over the Guildford Conservative Association (GDA) came to nothing on Friday evening; when he crashed out of the running to be re-selected as a Surrey County Councillor in spectacular fashion. However, though that was cause to bring out the bunting, his wife, the Queen Vic (AKA Victoria Young,) was re-selected for the Eastern Villages seat, but went on to slide back down the greasy pole to land slap, bang, wallop on top of him when she was out-voted in the attempted Tory Tossers takeover of GHQ.
So let’s declare a national holiday to mark the occasion!!
We at Waverley Web consider ourselves a relatively modest bunch, but like to think we made our own small contribution to assisting in the downfall of the overly-ambitious and unscrupulous Young Family. We’ve been told, on the QT by our Guildford Tory Moles, that members of the GCA were sufficiently alarmed by our recent article – Is Miss Whiplash About to Face a Backlash? – to rally to the cause and instead of curling up with their cocoa and slippers in front of the TV on Friday night, over 100 of them rallied to the aid of the Deputy Dominatrix (AKA Matron Milton) to out-fox NY & Co- the Dastardly Stennett Duo and Widow Ellis (of Bucks Green Volvo fame, who had a previous appointment – to name but a few.
Even Alfold’s Tory Nonogenarian Crone Betty Ames, was dragged from her coffin, before they nailed down the lid, to support the Young Narcissus in his hour of need! But all to no avail, for Annie got her gun and pistol-whipped her supporters into out-gunning YN and his posse to ensure he was defeated.
But what a pity, after such sterling efforts on the part of the Party Faithful, that former Cranleigh Parish Councillor Dominique McAll didn’t hold her nerve. You would have thought, having made the supreme sacrifice and given up TV-Gold in the form of Cruising with Jane McDonald, Ms McAll could have rewarded her colleagues by hanging on in there to see what happened on the night. But, no, Ms McAll tendered her resignation almost before the starter’s whistle blew. And, in doing so, she left the door open for John Beckwith-Smith – YN’s henchman – to garner enough votes to step into her flip-flops?
We shouldn’t really be surprised as Ms McAll has form for running away – when the going gets rough and the tough get going, she quits!
Regular readers may remember that Ms McAll was one of the most promising candidates to come out of Cranleigh in years and along with many others over there in the East had high hopes for this articulate, diligent, intelligent woman. Sadly, Ms McAll didn’t have the stamina for the ups-and-downs of parochial politics and at the first sign of competition resigned from the Parish Council when beaten to the Waverley Borough Council seat by her colleague, Liz Townsend.
Ms McAll embraced the GCA (Guildford Conservative Association) and, so everyone believed, she had too had set her sights on becoming a Surrey County Councillor – a stellar case of anything she can do (Liz Townsend, that is) I can do better!
But, lo and behold, once again, as soon as the going got rough, the not-so-tough Ms McAll, (or was she badly bullied?) ran for the Surrey Hills. Leaving the rest of us at the mercy of Y N’s Best Man, John Beckwith-Smith as the New Fundraising honcho.
A little light research reveals Mr Beckwith-Smith as an ‘Enhancer of the built environment …’ ? Yeah, your guess is as good as ours! We, at Waverley Web, can’t make up our minds if he is, preeningly, referring to what he considers to be his own good looks or if it’s a smart-ass reference to being a common-all-garden developer! And boy, haven’t we got enough of them in Waverley!
We’re slightly more impressed by his reference to being a ‘lighting expert,’ any man who is a qualified electrician would normally get our vote – it’s shows he’s of above average intelligence and we need more electricians here in Surrey. If you’ve just wandered down from Nappy Valley, put him on your speed-dial because it’s a bugger of a job trying to get hold of a good one in an emergency!
But that’s not all, apparently, he’s also an ‘interior architectural engineer’ … Beat’s us, we’ve no idea, despite Googling the term! Answers to contact@waverleyweb.org
Oh! and he’s also a ‘Coffee Professional’! OK, we get that, he’s worked in Costa – what student hasn’t?!
He also claims to be an ‘Excel Lover’; the ladies here in the Waverley Web office think he’s taking the p**s with that one and that it has nothing to do with the Microsoft Office application and everything to do with him boasting, slyly, of his bedroom antics. Enough said!
He also claims to be a ‘Club armchair occupant’. Well, there’s not much to say to that, except to misquote the words of Groucho Marx: ‘Please accept our resignation, we don’t care to be a member of any club that will have John Beckwith-Smith as a member.’Take note, Deputy Dominatrix!
Suffice to say, we, at Waverley Web, don’t yet know a lot about John Beckwith-Smith but that is going to change. Our researchers are on it as we type. So watch this space …
or … this post could be called Annie – THAT’S ANOTHER FINE MESS YOU’VE GOTTEN US INTO!
Anne Frances Milton, MP has been aptly named: AFM – AKA: Another- Fine-Mess! Because she’s up to her elbows in Developer-led-Do-Do!
Ms Backlash.
The MP for Guildford has clearly let her current role as the Government’s Deputy Dominatrix go to her head. For, in her capacity as Deputy Chief Government Whip for the House of Commons, Mrs Milton has spent so much time tearing around the House of Commons letting rogue MPs feel the lick of her leather thong that she thinks she can use those same tactics to bring the Dunsfold Park Developer to heel.
Thwarted in her oft repeated ambition to prevent housing development on the borough’s largest Brownfield site, the Government’s Deputy Dominatrix has donned her leather Jackboots and is stomping all over Cranleigh telling anyone who’ll listen that she’ll make Dunsfold Park pay for the new sewage treatment plant the gonna-be-town requires.
Having expended all her energy fighting Dunsfold Park and none whatsoever in ensuring that other developers – Berkeley Homes, Cala Homes, Crest Nicholson … to name but a few – dig into their own deep pockets and contribute to the provision of a new sewage treatment plant for the village they are busy turning into a town – not to mention replacement of the asbestos water pipes – the Government’s Deputy Dominatrix now wants Dunsfold Park to stump up in order to cover-up her shortcomings in the poo department!
She has fought Dunsfold Park tooth and nail and, even now, insists the application might still be scuppered by the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, whom she’s been hounding to do her bidding. Rumour has it, after a trip to see Fifty Shades Darker, Mrs Milton has been seen stalking DCLG with a leather flogger and nipple clamps! If Sajid Javid isn’t quaking in his boots he should be!
But we digress! The DD has been telling anyone who will listen that she has ‘grave concerns’ over issues such as sewage and flooding …
HELLO! Is she on the planet Zonk ? – Cranleigh to Annie! …
Dunsfold Park is one of the few developers in the East of the Borough who’s not building on a flood plain and the only one, to our knowledge here at the WW, that is actually planning to circumvent Cranleigh’s sewage-saga by building its own state of the art treatment plant.
Could the woman be more out of touch if she tried? Her own government has embraced a brownfield first policy – pledging one million more homes and to get planning permission in place on 90% of suitable brownfield sites for housing, thus ramping up their commitment to building on brownfield sites – and all the while she’s sticking two fingers up to brownfield development on her doorstep in neighbouring Dunsfold.
So what is it that’s driving the D D to such excesses? Is it, as has been hinted at, that she’s terrified donations to her constituency coffers will dry up if she doesn’t cow-tow to the supporters of PoW and their holier-than-thou-brown-cow?
If that’s the case, she needs to grow up! Take off the blinkers – or do we mean shades? All 50 of them! Her constituency is one of those remarkable pockets of the country where if they pinned a blue rosette on the arse of a monkey the party faithful would vote for it!
The Waverley Web suspects is that there might actually be some substance to the rumours that she the has allowed personal animosity to colour her dealings with Dunsfold Park. More than one of our correspondents tells us the local MP says she can’t stand Dunsfold Park and will do whatever it takes to stop the project in its tracks.
Instead of constantly trying to skewer Dunsfold Park, why doesn’t DD chase the BB’s (Berkeley Homes)? Why not ask them cough the dosh to build a new sewage works in Cranleigh to take the effluent from its affluent 426-home development on Knowle Lane?
Or, why not ask Cala Homes? They need to shift a shed-load of shit from the 125 homes they’re building on Amlets Lane.
Not forgetting Crest Nicholson. It will soon be regurgitating a few tonnes of sewage from its shit pit holding tanks at the 149 homes development in Horsham Road into the main sewers.
And whilst we’re on this tack, what about picking up the phone to Threadneedle Investments to ask them to dig into their very deep pockets and make a contribution to all the shit-shifting that will be required for the 120 homes they’ve just secured planning permission for on Hewitts Industrial Estate, and of course the 75 homes at Little Meadow’s?
But before she does, let’s pause a moment and do the maths for the Deputy Dominatrix, shall we?
426 homes + 125 homes + 149 homes + 120 homes + 75 = 895 new homes all in Cranleigh … and counting. There will be another 265 when the Knowle Park Initiative (when the Flying Dutchman – a strong “supporter” of the DD gets planning permission for 265 + homes in a few days time!
And then, of course, there’s all that development in the pipe-line over in Alfold where Thakeham Homes want to build 465 homes on the Springbok Estate and 120 have already been approved on Loxwood Road, not to mention the 45 homes that are proposed on land adjacent to Brockhurst Farm …
We could go on, DD but, surely, even you – bogged down in the latrines as you are – are beginning to get a glimpse of the bigger picture. Where’s all this developer do-do going? According to our sources in Alfold, Thakeham are planning to pipe theirs all the way to Cranleigh. So why don’t you give Rob Boughton, MD of Thakeham Homes, a tongue-lashing and see if you can harangue him into helping fund a new sewage treatment works in Cranleigh?
But, before you do, put us out of our misery and answer this one burning question: Why is it you’re happy for the developers of 1,429 plus homes over there in the East of the Borough to shunt their shit to Cranleigh sewage works, without contributing a penny for a new Fart Factory, and yet Dunsfold Park – which plans to build it’s own state of the art sewage system so it doesn’t have to shovel shit onto Cranleigh – is also expected, by you, to subsidise all those other developers by paying to build Cranleigh’s new Fart Factory?
Isn’t it time Anne started talking to the affluent about their effluent rather than expecting Dunsfold Park to keep taking all the shit – and trust us there’s a hell of a lot of that flying around Waverley and, sooner or later, some of it’s going to land on you.
So there you have it folks, Anne Frances Milton your local MP really was aptly named AFM – cos that’s ANOTHER FINE MESS she’s got you into! She’s up to her elbows in do-do!
