Is Guildford Conservative​ Association the latest breeding ground for developers?

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It’s no secret that Conservative Waverley Borough Councillors the Cranleigh’s Stennett duo was the first to leap onto the developers’ bandwagon trousering a few bob for their contribution toward helping to solve the borough’s housing problems – and in the green belt too!

Despite planning officers strongly recommending refusal – Councillors Stennett’s colleagues leapt at the opportunity to breach the green belt in Guildford Road, Cranleigh and grant consent. 

One agreed – more to go?

 Then along comes former Conservative Surrey Councillor Alan Young snaffling up a property in Mapledrakes Road, Ewhurst, which he’s presently sitting on, keeping nicely warm and hoping to hatch another shedload of housing soon now that the trees have been felled? Oops did we forget, the property was purchased from a Ewhurst parish councillor, who threatened to sue the Waverley Web, after “a friend” informed us that it had been owned by the PC’s late father not him personally !!

More to come?

Thankfully Cllr Young was found out in more ways than one by the Conservative Association, and the Tories dumped him for Andrew Povey. (Well! the less said about him the better.) Both are currently a complete embarrassment to Ewhurst/Cranleigh and the latter is now chairman of the Cranleigh Conservative Association.

Now the former Guildford Cons Treasurer, John Beckwith-Smith Councillor Young’s business partner, has pitched in with his scheme to build 53 homes at Windacres Farm, in Cox Green, which is on the Surrey/ Sussex border but within the Waverley borough. On the West side of Cox Green Planning Application: WA/2018/1109 

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As you will see Surrey County Council is perfectly happy to trouser £160,206 for early years schooling and £35,672 for Primary Schooling – ALL IN “POOR OLD CRANLEIGH!”

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However, it is slightly more circumspect about Secondary Education saying – there is plenty of Capacity at Glebelands.

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So more coming soon?

Just across the other side of Cox Green another Conservative Councillor – one Horsham Councillor John Bailey or (JCB) as he is known locally wants to build a further 57 on his farmland.

Ewhurst PC meeting has discussed the scheme and agreed to object, but its Waverley councillor (Con) Val Henry has already pinned her colours to JBC’s coat-tails saying she will support the application! No surprise there then!!

A difficult and potentially very unfair situation has now arisen in nearby Rudgwick. In the normal course of events, as Horsham District Council is the authority that determines planning applications you would expect that (JCB) the Cllr for Rudgwick Ward would be actively engaged in lobbying to help his constituents – 57 letters of objection have already been racked up but sadly  not possible as the applicant is its very own Horsham (JCB) district councillor!!

Instead it would appear although Conservative Cllr John Bailey claims quite correctly in his planning application for houses at Cox Green that his land there has not been farmed, except for haymaking (and the steam show),  that he has begun ploughing the land with a view to becoming the smallest arable farmer in England and to keep a few cattle for the first time in memory (years ago the Bailey business was local milk delivery). Might this have something to do with justifying his large barn?

So, in other words, Rudgwick & Cox Green have effectively, no representation on HDC or WBC to speak on their behalf.

And … there could be more homes in just one of the two developments than there are now in the whole of Cox Green (both in Sussex and Surrey).

 

NOW… POST – ELECTION stress disorder epidemic hits Ewhurst and Cranleigh.

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BE AFRAID – BE VERY AFRAID!!

Forget Nightmare on Elm Street – it’s Nightmare on Cranleigh High Street!! 

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Just when you thought it was safe to heave a huge sigh of relief, Povey-Power is about to be inflicted all over again on the East of the Borough!
In a classic case of Hobson’s Choice: the Tory-Tossers had to choose between Uriah Heep (AKA Alan Young) & Fagin (Andrew Povey). Some choice!


We told you all about the Pre-Election Stress Disorder phenomenon that struck the East of the borough just a few weeks ago.

Now, hang onto your blue rosettes, because Post Election Stress Disorder is about to hit the High Street as ‘The Comeback Kid’ ricochets back onto the Cranleigh / Ewhurst scene! No doubt The Surrey Ad has swopped its allegiance now its usual Kodak Kid  has been ditched in four of its NBF (New best friend) – Kodak Povey!

“If you are out there Rosaleen Egan – get your Rebocks on and hit the Cranleigh / Ewhurst pavements because Jesus Mary and the Joseph – AKA Guildford Conservative Associations – has just answered all your prayers!

Pre – Election Stress Disorder hits Ewhurst and Cranleigh.

Now, take a deep breath and readers of a sensitive disposition look away, because this news comes with a Waverley Web health warning! Who’s soon going to be pulling ‘Your Surrey’s’ county council strings?

Sadly the new broom many over there in the East had hoped would sweep County Hall clean and restore faith in local politics – Phillip Townsend – has not been selected to stand. No! we hear you cry! NO, surely it cannot be?

Here’s your candidates: it’s called HOBSONS CHOICE.

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Here you have Andrew Povey – disgraced former `leader of Surrey County Council, who with a knockout blow, beat off the competition.

It really is quite extraordinary that with a population of over 300 hundred million people the USA could only dredge up two totally unsuitable people to compete for the Presidency – Clinton and Trump?

Likewise, in the whole of Eastern Waverley – with a population of 12/13,000 soon to be nearer 20,000! – the Tory Tossers were reduced to sending in the disgraced former leader Gotta-pick-a-pocket-or-two-or-three – none other than Dr (as he likes to be known!) Andrew Povey.

Want to read more about the disgraced former Leader of Surrey County Council, whose colleagues took a vote of no confidence in him, and yet is now predicted to be Surrey County Council’s very own Comeback Kid? Bet David Hodge & Co can hardly wait?!?! Even some of them will be registering in Cranleigh and voting UKIP!

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Really makes you wonder doesn’t it? The man pictured above by our own staff photographer,  is the very same man who introduced Politics with a great big capital P into the village council chamber over 20 years ago, abandoned it for his race up Surrey County Council’s greasy pole, reaching the top only to slide down it faster than Usain Bolt on speed ! Now  selected to  take over the reins of Uriah Young (AKA Alan Young) . But when we look at who they’ve replaced him with we can’t help wondering why they bothered?cllralanyoungcopperfield.jpg

GOING, GOING GONE…YOUNG!
It cannot be true – can it?

COUP D’TWAT

 

Crash! Bang! WALLOP!

 

What was that we hear you ask?

That dear readers, was Young Narcissus (AKA Councillor Alan Young ) crashing,  banging and flailing his way down the greasy political pole he has been so assiduously clambering up in recent years.

Just like a contestant in a game of Snakes & Ladders (the key word here is snake!) Young Narcissus slid all the way down the board on Friday evening to land on his arse!  Brings to mind that lovely Tommy Steel number in Half A Sixpence:

‘old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin’ on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam’ly album

However, this was no musical comedy. This was  real life in the Surrey Suburbs – yes, we know that those of you who’ve emigrated from Nappy Valley (AKA Wandsworth Common) like to think you’ve moved to an idyllic rural utopia but, in reality, Surrey is just a suburb of Greater London.

The  Young Narcissus (YN) and his cohorts’ conspiracy to take over the Guildford Conservative Association (GDA) came to nothing on Friday evening; when he crashed out of the running to be re-selected as a Surrey County Councillor in spectacular fashion.  However, though that was  cause  to bring out the bunting, his wife, the Queen Vic (AKA Victoria Young,) was re-selected for the Eastern Villages seat, but went on to slide back down the greasy pole to land slap, bang, wallop on top of him when she was out-voted in the attempted Tory Tossers takeover of GHQ.

So let’s declare a national holiday to mark the occasion!!

We at Waverley Web consider ourselves a relatively modest bunch, but like to think we made our own small contribution to assisting in the downfall of the overly-ambitious and unscrupulous Young Family. We’ve been told, on the QT by our Guildford Tory Moles, that members of the GCA were sufficiently alarmed by our recent article – Is Miss Whiplash About to Face a Backlash? – to rally to the cause and instead of curling up with their cocoa and slippers in front of the TV on Friday night, over 100 of them rallied to the aid of the Deputy Dominatrix (AKA Matron Milton) to  out-fox NY & Co- the Dastardly Stennett Duo and Widow Ellis (of Bucks Green Volvo fame, who had a previous appointment –  to name but a few.

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Even Alfold’s Tory Nonogenarian Crone  Betty Ames, was dragged from her coffin, before they nailed down the lid, to support the Young Narcissus in his hour of need! But all to no avail, for Annie got her gun and pistol-whipped her supporters into out-gunning YN  and his posse to ensure he was defeated.

But what a pity, after such sterling efforts on the part of the Party Faithful, that former Cranleigh Parish Councillor Dominique McAll didn’t hold her nerve. You would have thought, having made the supreme sacrifice and given up TV-Gold in the form of Cruising with Jane McDonald, Ms McAll could have rewarded her colleagues  by hanging on in there to see what happened on the night. But, no, Ms McAll tendered her resignation almost before the starter’s whistle  blew. And, in doing so, she left the door  open for John Beckwith-Smith – YN’s henchman – to garner enough votes to step into her flip-flops?

 We shouldn’t really be surprised as  Ms McAll has form for  running away – when the going gets rough and the tough get going, she quits!

Regular readers may remember that Ms McAll was one of the most promising candidates to come out of Cranleigh in years and  along with many others over there in the East had high hopes for this articulate, diligent, intelligent woman.  Sadly, Ms McAll didn’t have the stamina for the ups-and-downs of parochial politics and at the first sign of competition resigned from the Parish Council when beaten to the  Waverley Borough Council seat by her colleague, Liz Townsend.

 Ms McAll embraced the GCA (Guildford Conservative Association)  and, so everyone  believed, she had too had set her sights on becoming a Surrey County Councillor – a stellar case of anything she can do (Liz Townsend, that is) I can do better!

But, lo and behold, once again, as soon as the going got rough, the not-so-tough Ms McAll,  (or was she badly bullied?)  ran for the Surrey Hills. Leaving the rest of us at the mercy of Y N’s Best Man, John Beckwith-Smith as the New Fundraising honcho.

A little light research reveals Mr Beckwith-Smith  as an ‘Enhancer of the built environment …’ ? Yeah, your guess is as good as ours! We, at Waverley Web, can’t make up our minds if he is, preeningly, referring to what he considers to be his own good looks or if it’s a smart-ass reference to being a common-all-garden developer! And boy, haven’t we got enough of them in Waverley!

 We’re slightly more impressed by his reference to being a ‘lighting expert,’ any man who is a qualified electrician would normally get our vote – it’s shows he’s of above average intelligence and we need more electricians here in Surrey. If you’ve just wandered down from Nappy Valley, put him on your speed-dial because it’s a bugger of a job trying to get hold of a good one in an emergency!

But that’s not all, apparently, he’s also an ‘interior architectural engineer’ …  Beat’s us, we’ve no idea, despite Googling the term! Answers to contact@waverleyweb.org

Oh! and  he’s also a ‘Coffee Professional’! OK, we get that, he’s worked in Costa – what student hasn’t?!

He also claims to be an ‘Excel Lover’; the ladies here in the Waverley Web office think he’s taking the p**s with that one and that it has nothing to do with the Microsoft Office application and everything to do with him boasting, slyly, of his bedroom antics. Enough said!

 He also claims to be a ‘Club armchair occupant’. Well, there’s not much to say to that, except to misquote the words of Groucho Marx: ‘Please accept our resignation, we don’t care to be a member of any club that will have John Beckwith-Smith as a member.’ Take note, Deputy Dominatrix!

Suffice to say, we, at Waverley Web, don’t yet know a lot about John Beckwith-Smith but that is going to change. Our researchers are on it as we type. So watch this space …

Is Miss Whiplash about to feel a Backlash?

Q: What does a disgruntled County Councillor do when he can’t persuade his audience to re-select him?

A: Durhh! Launch a hostile takeover, of course!

So eager is Surrey County Councillor Alan Young to get to the top of the greasy pole that he’s clambering over the bodies of all those involved in the Guildford Conservative Association (GCA) to get there.

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Forget the mantra, If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! that’s for pussies! Councillor Young prefers a more robust approach. If he can’t beat ‘em he’s gonna call for reinforcements and out-vote ‘em!

Rumour has it the narcissistic-nincompoop is so enamoured of himself and his ambition that he’s busy forming his own local army.

Yep, that’s right! Soooooo miffed is the Young Narcissus at not being re-selected to stand for the Surrey County Council seat that his bum is super-glued to that he and a select band of his Ewhurst and Cranleigh acolytes are planning a coup d’etat which, if successful, will see them takeover the Guildford Conservative Association Executive lock stock and smoking barrels! And, boy – so we’re told – are there are a lot of smoking barrels where the Young Narcissus is concerned!

We’ve had it from the horse’s mouth – AKA Tory Moles here in Farnham – that when threatened with not being re-selected for the Eastern villages seat, Young Narcissus set his sights on us! Well – he can keep his hands off our town – we’ve enough problems with A Touch of Frost better known at Waverley as…Patsy who is standing!

Believing himself well-versed in Farnham Fu**-ups – having connived with The Local Gal (AKA Denise Le-Gal) to use Surrey County Council’s dosh-bag to fund the Brightwells East Street re-development scheme, which is so close to all our hearts (not!) – Young Narcissus thought he was a shoe-in …

Misjudged that one though, didn’t he? Unfortunately, for Young Narcissus, his reputation preceded him and with his wife – AKA The Queen Vic – already a County Councillor for Alfold, Dunsfold and beyond, but Farnham was determined to resist a Surrey-wide takeover by the Young Family.

Having chalked that failure up to experience, Young Narcissus tried – and failed – to snatch the Horsham parliamentary seat during the General Election. And that, of course, is at the root of all the intrigue surrounding Narcissus Young and his acolytes!

Keeping up? No? Need a recap? Of course you do, because the waters surrounding Young Narcissus are not as crystal clear as you would expect of a Councillor but deep and murky and decidedly mucky! ( Caravaggio’s depiction of Narcissus gazing at his own reflection in a pool here – source Wikipedia)

So now Young Narcissus – who has ably demonstrated that he has not an ounce of loyalty to the East of the Borough that he so longs to represent – is on the look out for any seat that might be up for grabs – anytime, anywhere, anyhow! He’s not fussy – trust us, he’s really not – about the detail! He just wants a seat – any seat will do – that will enable him to continue clambering up the greasy Tory-Party-Pole.

Therefore, if she’s wise, the Deputy Dominatrix (AKA Matron Milton) will be watching her back, whilst reaching for her gun! And, being a woman, she’ll have no trouble multi-tasking so we’d also recommend that she gets out her flogger whilst she’s at it and starts flicking the heels, not to mention the well-rounded buttocks, of her supporters to ensure they are out in force at the South West Surrey AGM on Friday night.

Why? we hear you mutter?

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So there then – who dares wins!

Because, rumour has it, Young Narcissus and his storm-troopers – some of whom have only recently joined the branch with t(his) sole purpose in mind – are planning to hijack the AGM and launch a hostile takeover bid!

No! we hear you howl!

YES! The usual suspects – who, like Young Narcissus, have little respect for local democracy – are up to their necks in the plot. Yes, we mean the infamous Stennett-Duo, who think it’s perfectly acceptable to resign from Cranleigh Parish Council and yet hold on to their seats on Waverley Borough Council. And then there’s the Widow Ellis of “Bucks Green Volvo fame” of which more anon …

So there you have it, folks, Rent-A-Crowd will be out in force to support Young Narcissus, all the while he continues to dig-deep into his pockets – and those of Surrey County Council – in his endeavours to attract as many ‘supporters’ – AKA schmucks! – to his army.

So what is it, we here you cry, that has so upset the GCA that they’ve withdrawn their support for Young Narcissus?

Where to begin? The rumours are rife and it’s hard to sort the wheat from the chaf but we’re willing to dip our toe in the gutter so that you can hear the mutters:

Rumour has it that Young Narcissus has been claiming that his de-selection is due to “an administrative error”! He really should be careful with that one; has he not heard what happened to Pinocchio?

And then there’s the deal he entered into to buy a property owned by the Cleaves family. Coincidentally, Richard Cleaves is Chairman of Ewhurst Parish Council and he sought advice from Waverley Planners about the prospect of building 22 houses on the land which is now owned by Young Narcissus & the Queen Vic – who have been incredibly busy felling trees and filling in ponds since  acquiring it!

Of course, we could recycle (yes, it is a pun but not, we’ll admit, a very good one!) about Young Narcissus’s involvement in the Great Cycle Track between Cranleigh and Ewhurst that has never been used – and which upset many of Ewhurst’s residents who have believed, for generations, that there is only one decent thing to ever came out of Cranleigh and that’s the road to Ewhurst! They have never wanted the closer links that the Young Narcissus who, whilst doing his Houdini act to get himself out of any fine mess, is so intent on fostering for his own political ends!

Watch this space – when we reveal all with the help of Guilford and Farnham TT’s – Cranleigh/Ewhurst TT’s have gone a bit quiet on us – wonder why?

Will a defection from the Tories be the… kiss of death for our very own Houdini – Alan Young?

You heard it here first that Guildford Conservative Association has  “de-selected”  or in our words “jettisoned” Surrey County Councillor Alan Young. Better known at the Surrey Ad picture desk as the “Kranleigh’s Kodak Kid.” 

The councillor for Cranleigh and Ewhurst who would turn up for the opening of an envelope as long as someone  was  there to take his picture, has been “de-selected” as a candidate for the May elections. But  you can hardly Adam and Eve it – he is apparently blackmailing his Tory Tosser colleagues that if they don’t back him he will embarrass them all by committing  the mortal sin of becoming  an – INDEPENDENT! and stand against the official Tory Tosser candidate!

 He has been fighting for over a year to hang on Houdini style …

Houdini-1.png to what he believes is his given right to keep his county councillor role. He has  super-glued his bum into his council seat, despite having fought, and lost, several  bids  to become a prospective parliamentary candidate, which would surely have resulted in his resignation from local politics to  climb Westminster’s  greasy pole. 

But having used Conservative Association monies in a bid to pave  his way into other Tory Tosser Clubs his cover is  blown and his disloyalty to  Tory colleagues  over the years has come back to haunt him. Even his most fervent supporters have stabbed him in the back and voted him out…out…out!

But the Kodak Kid is not giving up until the fat lady sings… and this week he  called in all the favours… Robin Fawkner Corbett of the “I have kerbs installed outside my house to prevent the school coach from parking in front of my window”  and a few Ewhurst supporters to whom he has promised – the earth no doubt? Even his (NBF’s) from Cranleigh Chamber of Commerce were there to support him – after all he has promised them…more footfall…more houses…more developers…more shoppers…more flowers…more…?

In fact he snatched the opportunity at the Con Club to wax lyrical and remind everyone how  missable he would be and how miserable he would be if they didn’t change their minds and select him. Unfortunately his diatribe of me, me and even more me, was interrupted when the real speaker the Hon Annie Milton turned up… albeit..late.

The Hon Annie has made no secret of the fact that the shutter must come down on the Kodak Kid’s political career. But watch it Annie – you may yet need to get outya gun… because this slimy git reminded the Tory Tossers that if they didn’t support him – they may not, in the future, support her! Oh dear do we hear that ugly word…BLACKMAIL oh surely not! So our Houdini may keep his seat – one way or another!

So now Cranleigh Tory T’s have been told by Guilford’s Tory T’s that the the KK  “ignored  the democratic process.” So now Houdini  may have to have his bum surgically removed from “his”  county seat if he is to  walk… into the wilderness… where they believe he belongs.