Cranleigh’s very own Matron calls for an … Enema!

or … this post could be called Annie – THAT’S ANOTHER FINE MESS YOU’VE GOTTEN US INTO!

Anne Frances Milton, MP has been aptly named: AFM – AKA: Another- Fine-Mess! Because she’s up to her elbows in Developer-led-Do-Do!

anne milton

Ms Backlash.

The MP for Guildford has clearly let her current role as the Government’s Deputy Dominatrix go to her head. For, in her capacity as Deputy Chief Government Whip for the House of Commons, Mrs Milton has spent so much time tearing around the House of Commons letting rogue MPs feel the lick of her leather thong that she thinks she can use those same tactics to bring the Dunsfold Park Developer to heel.

Thwarted in her oft repeated ambition to prevent housing development on the borough’s largest Brownfield site, the Government’s Deputy Dominatrix has donned her leather Jackboots and is stomping all over Cranleigh telling anyone who’ll listen that she’ll make Dunsfold Park pay for the new sewage treatment plant the gonna-be-town requires.

Having expended all her energy fighting Dunsfold Park and none whatsoever in ensuring that other developers – Berkeley Homes, Cala Homes, Crest Nicholson … to name but a few – dig into their own deep pockets and contribute to the provision of a new sewage treatment plant for the village they are busy turning into a town – not to mention replacement of the asbestos water pipes – the Government’s Deputy Dominatrix now wants Dunsfold Park to stump up in order to cover-up her shortcomings in the poo department!

She has fought Dunsfold Park tooth and nail and, even now, insists the application might still be scuppered by the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, whom she’s been hounding to do her bidding. Rumour has it, after a trip to see Fifty Shades Darker, Mrs Milton has been seen stalking DCLG with a leather flogger and nipple clamps! If Sajid Javid isn’t quaking in his boots he should be!

But we digress! The DD has been telling anyone who will listen that she has ‘grave concerns’ over issues such as sewage and flooding …

HELLO! Is she on the planet Zonk ? – Cranleigh to Annie! …

Dunsfold Park is one of the few developers in the East of the Borough who’s not building on a flood plain and the only one, to our knowledge here at the WW, that is actually planning to circumvent Cranleigh’s sewage-saga by building its  own state of the art treatment plant.

Could the woman be more out of touch if she tried? Her own government has embraced a brownfield first policy – pledging one million more homes and to get planning permission in place on 90% of suitable brownfield sites for housing, thus ramping up their commitment to building on brownfield sites – and all the while she’s sticking two fingers up to brownfield development on her doorstep in neighbouring Dunsfold.

So what is it that’s driving the D D to such excesses? Is it, as has been hinted at, that she’s terrified donations to her constituency coffers will dry up if she doesn’t cow-tow to the supporters of PoW and their holier-than-thou-brown-cow?

If that’s the case, she needs to grow up! Take off the blinkers – or do we mean shades? All 50 of them! Her constituency is one of those remarkable pockets of the country where if they pinned a blue rosette on the arse of a monkey  the party faithful would vote for it!

The Waverley Web suspects is that there might actually be some substance to the rumours that she the has allowed personal animosity to colour her dealings with Dunsfold Park. More than one of our correspondents tells us the local MP says she can’t stand Dunsfold Park and  will do whatever it takes to stop the project in its tracks.

Instead of constantly trying to skewer Dunsfold Park, why doesn’t DD  chase the BB’s (Berkeley Homes)? Why not ask them cough the dosh  to build a new sewage works in Cranleigh to take the effluent from its  affluent 426-home  development on Knowle Lane?

Or, why not ask  Cala Homes?  They need to shift a shed-load of shit from the 125 homes they’re building on Amlets Lane.

Not forgetting  Crest Nicholson. It will soon be regurgitating a few tonnes of sewage from its shit pit holding tanks at the  149 homes development in Horsham Road into the main sewers.

And whilst we’re on this tack, what about picking up the phone to  Threadneedle Investments to ask them to dig into their very deep pockets and make a contribution to all the shit-shifting that will be required for the 120 homes they’ve just secured planning permission for on Hewitts Industrial Estate, and of course the 75 homes at Little Meadow’s?

But before she does, let’s pause a moment and do the maths for the Deputy Dominatrix, shall we?

426  homes + 125 homes + 149 homes + 120 homes + 75 = 895  new homes all in Cranleigh … and counting. There will be another 265 when the Knowle Park Initiative (when the Flying Dutchman – a strong “supporter” of the DD gets planning permission for 265 + homes in a few days time!

And then, of course, there’s all that development in the pipe-line over in Alfold where Thakeham Homes want to build 465 homes on the Springbok Estate and 120 have already been approved on Loxwood Road, not to mention the 45 homes that are proposed on land adjacent to Brockhurst Farm …

We could go on, DD but, surely, even you – bogged down in the latrines as you are – are beginning to get a glimpse of the bigger picture. Where’s all this developer do-do going? According to our sources in Alfold, Thakeham are planning to pipe theirs all the way to Cranleigh. So why don’t you give Rob Boughton, MD of Thakeham Homes, a tongue-lashing and see if you can harangue him into helping fund a new sewage treatment works in Cranleigh?

But, before you do, put us out of our misery and answer this one burning question: Why is it you’re happy for the developers of 1,429 plus homes over there in the East of the Borough to shunt their shit to Cranleigh sewage works, without contributing a penny for  a new Fart Factory, and yet Dunsfold Park – which plans to build it’s own state of the art sewage system so it doesn’t have to shovel shit onto Cranleigh – is also expected, by you, to subsidise all those other developers by paying to build Cranleigh’s new Fart Factory?

Isn’t it time Anne started talking to the affluent about their effluent rather than expecting Dunsfold Park to keep taking all the shit – and trust us there’s a hell of a lot of that flying around Waverley and, sooner or later, some of it’s going to land on you.

So there you have it folks, Anne Frances Milton your local MP really was aptly named AFM – cos that’s ANOTHER FINE MESS she’s got you into! She’s up to her elbows in do-do!

4 thoughts on “Cranleigh’s very own Matron calls for an … Enema!

  1. What a load of waffle! Talk about old farts and hot air.
    She doesn’t like DP because she doesn’t want it it, like nearly everyone else over on this side of the borough and she represents US. Simples.

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  2. Might seem like old farts and hot air to you – but to the people who live in and around Cranleigh the sewage situation is serious, very serious. Ever been flooded with raw sewage Mr M – when you have then you can waffle – until then better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than speak up and remove all doubt!

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  3. Pingback: Going down Effluent Creek! | Waverley Web

  4. Of course whether it’s clean shit or dirty shit it’s all going to end up in Cranleigh Waters – which is already dead. The government know about it, Thames Water knows about it and they are effectively breaking their own environmental laws by not spending a penny.

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