Anne Milton The former MP for Guildford, Cranleigh and eastern villages, who is now standing as an Independent was almost swallowed up by the Speakers’ chair in her efforts to avoid making even eye contact with Boris Johnson – during one of the last session of Parliament.
Yes, here at the Waverley Web we watched the parliamentary broadcast as Burly Boris on his way back from the voting lobby almost elbowed her out of the way, and she was forced to sit down, perhaps lie down, we know not. All we know is that for 5 mins she completely disappeared from view, and then appeared with a face like a slapped arse!
Her outburst over recent days underlines her true feelings for the man who may have ended her 15-year career in politics. Unless of course, the people she has tirelessly served decide that her dedication as a constituency MP, and experience of holding top ministerial jobs, and her professional achievements within the health service, can put her back in parliament. We ask, why aren’t there more Independent voices in Parliament – working for US and not “THEM”unfettered by party whips?
Certainly, there is no contest between Anne Milton and “the chosen one” Tory PPP Angela Richardson. A Cranleigh parish councillor, who failed to be elected to Waverley Borough Council and with less experience of local Government than the village delivery man. A woman who even those canvassing for her in Guildford and the villages say they would have much preferred to be shlepping around the streets for a woman they trust – Anne Milton.
A poll of 100 people undertaken by the Guildford Dragon revealed the state of play.
Cllr Townsend – Waverley Borough Councillor for Cranleigh and Chairman of its Parish Council has today announced her resignation from the Conservative Party.
Waverley Borough and Cranleigh Parish Cllr Liz Townsend is now hand-in-hand with former MP Anne Milton in their efforts to put ~an Independent MP for the Guildford & Villages into the seat at the General Election.
It has been obvious to anyone who watches the Waverley Borough Council meetings on its webcast – sad souls that a handful of us residents are! That Cllr Elizabeth Townsend has become an increasingly independent thinker – and doer.
Like many councillors before her – her politics came with a small p – but her Dogged Determination to serve Waverley, and in particular Cranleigh residents, – came with a BIG D. Which sometimes took her out-of-step with Tory colleagues. Particularly with her concerns for the environment.
Although seemingly overlooked and undervalued by some of her own Waverley Conservative colleagues, she is highly regarded by the public and her colleagues in all the other parties. Cast your minds back to a time when Tory-controlled Waverley refused to allow her to join the influential Joint Planning Committee. A committee faced with major applications – including Dunsfold Park Garden Village a 2,600 home – development that would have a major impact on Cranleigh and its services.
So it came as no surprise to us, here at the Waverley Web that Cllr Liz Townsend has resigned to-day from the Guildford & Villages Con Assoc – to become, what perhaps she always has been – an INDEPENDENT.
As Chairman of the parish council, she single-handedly masterminded Cranleigh’s Neighbourhood Plan – a feat of enormous and time-consuming proportions, as it maps out Cranleigh’s future and underpins Waverley’s Local Plan.
She has fought tirelessly for the people of Cranleigh and beyond, cares passionately about the environment, and the effect development is having on the character of the countryside both on her own patch and on the areas of Godalming, Haslemere and ours here in Farnham. nobody shows more frustration at the loss of habitat, loss of ancient woodland, hedgerows, and TPO covered trees than Cllr Townsend. She has shown herself to represent our beleaguered town of Farnham with exactly the same fervour as her own area. There is nothing parochial in her fight for what is right for the people of Waverley. But faced with a choice of what is right for the country has prompted a once committed Tory to hand in her card.
So let’s all hope that the new Coalition Alliance that is now running ‘Your Waverley’ will recognise her immense skills, and reward her courageous stand – with more responsibility for shaping our borough over the next four years. Because there is little doubt, Waverley’s Tory Group has lost one of its best assets. We wonder what Cllr Potts will have to say now her ranks are being depleted further? Watch this space.
Councillor Paul Follows, Deputy Leader of Your Waverley said:
The cross-party administration of Waverley Borough Council is very pleased to welcome Cllr Towsend to join the governing group of (now) 35 councillors.
Cllr Townsend is known for being a hardworking, principled local councillor and will be, I am sure, an asset to the group in our ongoing work for the residents of Waverley.
It is clear that the Conservative party has in recent months shifted to the right and to a place where moderate, centrist, pro-remain and pro-environment Conservative councillors and supporters feel uncomfortable and ultimately that they have no home. Leaving a party of your own choice takes great courage and many of the group understand that position. There will always be a place for such people in the cross-party alliance whether they sit as a member of a party or as an Independent.
Will Anne Milton still hold the whip hand in Guildford & villages?
Anne Milton is now – whipless, party-less, and with former Tory Waverley Councillors like these, who needs enemies?!
Since 2005-Anne Milton has represented the people of Guildford, Cranleigh & Ewhurst as their MP. But as the local branch memberships prepare to cast their votes tonight Thursday, it is in the knowledge that the Tory vote has been split asunder by a woman, who herself, held the Deputy Chief Whip’s position in Parliament.
Although a highly respected, hardworking, and in the most part successful MP, she may find some opposition to her decision, having made one crucial mistake in the eastern villages.
It was Ms Milton, along with SW Surrey MP Jeremy Hunt – who together urged Secretary of State Sajid Javid, to call in the Dunsfold Aerodromeplanning application. A delay, which having been approved by ‘Your Waverley’ and the S of S, then prompted a Judicial Review, bythe objectors she backed.Although also agreed by the High Court last year, it robbed Waverley of more than 500 homes, a pivotal component of its Local Plan and precipitated the loss of even more of the borough’s countryside to other eager developers.
However, she did redeem herself in part, by her efforts to turn the spotlight on flooding problems in both Alfold and in Cranleigh. She chairing regular Flood Forums, regularly taking on the Environment Agency and Thames Water and holding all the statutory agencies to account. Sources close to Ms Milton say she has become increasingly frustrated by party politics in recent years but is eager to continue to represent the people on whose behalf she has worked tirelessly for 24 years.
So let the battle begin? All that remains is filling in the black holes?
Guildford Conservative Association and all the branch’s of the Tory tree will be gearing up over the coming weekend to choose the candidate for the ‘once-safe’ Guildford and eastern villages seat.
While some wannabe Tory candidates are getting up close to Boris, MP Anne Milton is fighting in Parliament to ensure all those extant planning permissions for housing on her patch are built-out.
She asked Secretary of State for Housing Minister Esther McVay to “do something” to force developers to build much-needed homes, instead of surrounding sites with hoardings. She says while there is a requirement on developers to begin building within a set period from the granting of planning permission, there is no equivalent requirement to finish what they start, let alone a deadline to do so. This leads to building land left abandoned and unused, housing completions lagging behind housing need, and leaving people without homes.
It was business as usual for one of the finest, hardworking and most respected constituency MP’s Guildford, Ewhurst and Cranleigh have ever had. She told a Westminster Hall debate this week that:
“Local authorities simply do not possess enough tools to force the hand of [property] developers,” Ms Milton had requested the debate on Building Out Extant Planning Permissions to express her frustration that slow progress by developers meant many sites with planning permission were left undeveloped while people suffered from housing shortages”.
“We need houses that people can afford in areas such as Guildford and Cranleigh, where prices are eye-wateringly high (the average house price in Guildford is more than £550,000), and get the socially rented homes we also need.
“But it sometimes feels as if successive governments are simply unwilling to do anything that will upset the developers’ apple cart.”
Ms McVey said:“When we talk about the number of homes coming forward, we all agree there have been many decades of not building enough. Demand has outstripped supply for many years. In the past year, more than 220,000 homes have been built, more than in all but one of the past 31 years.
“We need to do more, and more is being done, but a significant amount has been done already. We are going in the right direction. The government are putting another £44 billion into home-building.
“What we are doing is bringing forward an accelerated planning Green Paper. There will be not just a single solution that ensures that developers build-out there will be an array of solutions, using both carrot and stick approaches. Those methods will be set out in our new Green Paper, which is coming
No surprises there then that our borough council has been sanctioned by the Government for under delivering its housing supply. – although one might argue that, given the sausage factory panache, with which Waverley’s planners have been banging out planning consents one might be forgiven for wondering WHY?
WAVERLEY IS ONE OF THE COUNCILS TO BE SANCTIONED BY THE GOVERNMENT UNDER THE NEW HOUSING DELIVERY TEST.
SO INSTEAD OF AN ADDITIONAL 5% BUFFER ADDED TO ITS HOUSING SUPPLY NUMBERS, THIS HAS BEEN INCREASED TO 20%! THAT’S ANOTHER 1500 HOUSES!!!
Q Q: Why?
A: Because of all the developments already consented in Waverley approximately 400/500 of 1800 that could, and should, have been built on a brownfield site at Dunsfold Aerodrome – NONE HAVE BEEN BUILT … yet.
All thanks to the antics of that troublesome twosome – Protect our Waverley (POW) and The Campaign for the Protection of Rural England (CPRE) – aided and abetted by the meddling Mistress Milton, and Jeremy SHUNT – who, shall henceforth be known as – ‘Waverley’s Old Buffers’ (WOB’s.’) Together they were, and are, dedicated to stopping development at Dunsfold Park so they can support building over the countryside! Had these unreconstructed NIMBYs bowed to the inevitable and accepted that the biggest brownfield site in the borough was the obvious place for housing, rather than trying to stop it by hook or by crook, housing development at the Aerodrome would now be well under way, thus enabling Waverley to demonstrate that it IS delivering on the planning consents it had granted.
One-third of local authorities face a sanction under the government’s new housing delivery test this year and these include both WAVERLEY & GUILDFORD.
The delivery test was introduced in last July’s revised National Planning Policy Framework (NPPF). It applies sanctions to all local planning authorities that, in the three years up to the preceding April, failed to meet 95% of their housing requirement, with the severity of the sanction varying according to the extent of the under-performance.
Under the test’s criteria, all local authorities delivering under 95% of their housing requirement must now produce an action plan detailing the reasons why they are under-delivering and how they will address it.
Those under 85% of their requirement, which includes, Waverley and Guildford, must add a 20% buffer to their five-year housing land supply requirement, instead of the usual 5% buffer, and produce an – ACTION PLAN.
Meanwhile, the worst performers – those under 25% in November 2018, rising to 45% in November 2019 and 65% in November 2020 – face the NPPF’s presumption in favour of sustainable development.
SO WHAT’S WAVERLEY’S CUNNING ACTION PLAN? AND WHAT’S GUILDFORD’S?
Does that mean THAT THE LAND ADJACENT TO AARONS HILL in Godalming, in the borough of Guildford COMES BACK ONLINE?
Fortunately, none have fallen under 25% which means no local authority faces the presumption penalty – this year. Which means that 66% of councils – exactly two-thirds – have escaped any penalty at all – this year. In comparison, research by Planning last November found that 120 local authorities – 62% – would be above the 95% threshold and face no delivery test sanction at all.
Research suggests our borough is among the 38% of councils would have to produce an action plan, and is also the 31% required to have a 20% buffer in their housing land supply to boost delivery.
Has POW and CPRE (WOB’s) learnt anything from their mistakes?
Have they hell!
Having secured yet another Judicial Review into Waverley’s Local Plan, which wastes shed loads more of Waverley taxpayer’s dosh. In the interim THE WOB’s cloak themselves in yet another cost protection order (the infamous Aahrus Convention enabling NIMBYs like CPRE and POW to play fast and loose at the expense of ordinary taxpayers’ money without fear of incurring prohibitive costs.) While they increase delays in housing delivery.
The upshot is. That even if they do manage to secure a so-called victory by reducing Waverley’s housing numbers, those housing numbers will now automatically increase because of the delays in delivery. You really couldn’t make it up!
It’s only taken a mere 16 years for the Flying Scot to learn today that his ambitious plans to turn Dunsfold Aerodrome into an eco-village fit for the 21st century, complete with 1800 homes, a primary school, GP surgery and all the essential elements required to support day-to-day living has – at very long last – been consented. And, by no less a personage than Sajid Javid the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government.
Some would argue that amidst the growing hullabaloo about a lack of affordable housing. The Tories’ alleged commitment to riding roughshod over the concerns of NIMBY residents and Councils’ in their determination to show they care – really, REALLY care! – about the housing crisis, there was no way they could afford to turn this application down but, by God, they’ve had a bloody good try!
Mistress Anne Milton, MP for Guildford, has made no bones about her opposition to the scheme from the get-go and – despite her colleague Dominic Raab’s call for ‘more affordable homes’ to ‘restore the dream of homeownership.’ She openly boasted how she’d whipped S of S Javid into calling in the planning application in the hope he would overturn Waverley Council’s decision in December 2016 to grant consent.
Rumour has it, deep in the burrow of the Burys, that Council Leader, Julia Potts, was so incensed at Mistress Milton’s unwarranted interference, that the two fell out BIG time!
A week to the day Jeremy Hunt, MP for South West Surrey was outed by The Sun as a budding buy-to-let property-mogul – with more than a casual interest in keeping would-be homeowners tied into the rental market. Now – Javid, it would seem, has finally grown a pair and told his erstwhile colleagues they not only need to toe the party line but be seen to toe the party line in their own constituencies!
But a word of caution to the Flying Scot before he starts doing the Highland Fling:
Perhaps he should ask himself will his joy be short-lived? Remember …back in December 2016, when Your Waverley granted consent and, only weeks later, defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory, when, at Annie’s and SHunt’s behest, (S of S) Javid ruled he would have the final say on Dunsfold Park’s future?
Waverley Web has no doubt as we write, Protect our little Corner of Awfold, Duncefold, Ker-Chingfold and Where-Has–All-the-Traffic-Combe-From is dusting off its begging bowls and door-stepping its supporters, asking them to dig deep – just one more time! WHY? To fund the final leg of its marathon act of NIMBYISM, to launch a Judicial Review of both the Dunsfold Park decision and the Local Plan!
Surely not, we hear you say! Why not?
Because they can!
With cheer-leader-in-chief’s Mistress Milton’s backing, and a bit of behind the bikesheds manoeuvring from Jeremy Shunt-All-the-Houses elsewhere, these suburban terrorists – yes, we did say suburban!This is Surrey, an extension of Greater London, not deepest-darkest-Dorset – have, for in excess of 10 long years, waged a very successful campaign to deny the children and grandchildren of their less-well-off neighbours any opportunity of getting a foothold on the property ladder within spitting distance of Awfold, Duncefold, Ker-Chingfold, etc and anywhere in between.
After all, it’s only 18 years since BAE Systems vacated Dunsfold Aerodrome … so what’s the hurry to make a decision about its future? We need to consult, consult, and CONSULT… with the dormouse (AKA Sarah Sullivan), the Bat (AKA Councillor Betty Ames), the Bullfrogs (AKA Councillor Betty Ames and the Leader of PoW, Bob Lees) not to mention Uncle Tom Cobbley (AKA Squire Orange) … get the picture?
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the world, China plans to build 66 new airports in the next five years. And we wonder why we lost an Empire and are a declining world power … Go figure!
Isn’t it time PoW and the ilk stopped the monotonous moaning, got over themselves and embraced Sajid Javid’s decision and, in the words of the Beetles: [Just] let it be …
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be. Whisper words of wisdom Let it be
Interesting in this Press Release to concentrate on the often overlooked employment aspects!
It’s no news to anyone in the borough of Waverley that the East of the borough is getting more than its fair share of development, some of which is to be built on flood plains! In addition, Cranleigh and the surrounding villages regularly flood and burst water pipes are commonplace, whatever the weather!
So Cranleigh’s very own watchdog is wagging its tail on behalf the townsfolk and is calling in the A-Team – non-other than Mistress Anne Milton, who we all know, is not adverse to putting her whip across the backs of those in high places. Perhaps, she can get some sense of Thames Water and the Environment Agency! Cranleigh people live in hope!
And there we were at The Waverley Web thinking that it was the East’s very own whip cracking girl, Meddling Matron Milton that called in a favour to have the Dunsfold Park planning application called in by the Secretary of State!
And all the time she was being aided and abetted by The West’s very own Grinning Golden Balls!
These two really must be congratulated – no wonder developers are filling their coffers with dosh! We heard recently from one follower who personally delivered a big fat cheque to one of them on behalf of a wannabe developer! Now, they have jointly, given all those other little eager beavers, just the signal they needed to break through the dam and get going whilst the going’s good.
No doubt all those people over there in the East will think the will have an opportunity to thank Matron Annie in the usual way at the next election. But of course, she won’t be standing, as she’s on her way to become one of the 800 Lords-A-Leaping! As for the Hunt Ball – God only knows if he gives a damn what happens in his patch – no doubt he will just keep the inane grin on his face and head for the Big Job?
Yes, Mr Edge, the rot has really set in . Permission given on the Green Belt in Bramley and Elstead. Two slices of the once sacrosanct Green Belt in Waverley gone in just one week, and one of which contained a real sting in the tail – which will be the subject of another post!
Another planning application in for nearly 500 homes on the green, green, grass of Alfold by Thakeham Homes at Springbok (can’t even wait for its Appeal) just jump Annie’s Gun – and get in quick while the Dunsfold Brownfield scheme is slung into the ‘waiting room.’ Soon the applications will be arriving in their droves.
Eight long years wasted by “Your Waverley” on its DAFT LOCAL PLAN and whilst the Council Fiddles – the Borough Burns!
It would seem that the Whip-Cracking Deputy Dominatrix, AKA Anne Milton MP, has more sway over Sajid Javid than we could have possibly imagined for it was announced today that Matron Milton has prevailed and persuaded the Secretary of State to call in Dunsfold Park’s planning application to build 1800 homes on the aerodrome.
This will, without doubt, be a major blow to Your Waverley, which was depending on housing at the airfield to underpin its Daft Local Plan – which is now looking dafter by the minute, if that were possible!
On the one hand, we’re told the Government wants more housing and Waverley is being encouraged to build more houses and yet an application to build houses on the biggest brownfield site in the borough gets called in whilst, elsewhere, all over the Borough, green fields are being concreted over by developers who are contributing diddley-squat to the infrastructure needs of the Borough when compared with the millions (we believe the figure is around £50m) Dunsfold Park was going to pump in! You couldn’t make it up – not even if you tried!
Alongside Protect Our (Little Corner) of Waverley there will be plenty of developers who will be swilling back the Champagne today as they throw in their planning applications faster than Your Waverley’s printers can churn them out! And they’ll be laughing all the way to their earth-movers as Your Waverley is left high-and-dry whilst Dunsfold Park is in limbo-land courtesy of the Deputy Dominatrix and her all-too-willing-slave.
For, be in no doubt about it, in light of the loss of Dunsfold Park’s housing contribution, Your Waverley will have little option but to nod through another 265 homes at West Cranleigh Nurseries when the Joint Planning Committee meets next week – putting yet another nail in the coffin of Cranleigh New Town.
Well done, Anne, we have to hand it to you. You and your whip really are a cracking asset to Cranleigh! We and very many Cranleigh residents have no hesitation in laying the blame for the desecration of this once beautiful village on your front porch! We hope the donations made to your campaign coffers by Protect Our (Little Corner) of Waverley make it all worth your while.
And the barristers at London’s Landmark Chambers, who not only regularly represent Your Waverley but also Dunsfold Park, will also be raising a glass or two or three to you tonight. Their coffers will be full to over-flowing by the time this sorry saga has played itself out.
For not only will Waverley be pouring hundreds of thousands of pounds down the borough’s overflowing drains but all that Council Tax Payer’s money could be swiftly followed by the £50 million Dunsfold Park were rumoured to be contributing to the local economy via infrastructure in the form of a new school, affordable homes, a new sewage works, leisure centre, sports centre … we could go on but you get the picture.
The irony of it is that this time Your Waverley and the Flying Scotsman will be in it together, singing from the same hymn sheet when this gets to Public Inquiry! You couldn’t make it up – you really, really couldn’t! Talk about the unholy of unholy alliances!
So where does this decision leave Your Waverley’s Local Plan? WITH A GREAT BIG HOLE.
In short, it leaves everything to chance… WHY? Because, let’s face it, Your Waverley had no vision for Waverley – no vision for the East, the only people with any vision are the developers who are now circling overhead in their helicopters marking up their plans for yet more green fields they can concrete over to make up the 1800 shortfall that the Dunsfold Park Dilemma is going to place Your Waverley in!!!
WW wonders if the site owners might just throw in the bricks and go for its second option – may we now see the resurgence of a very busy airfield? Thereby the very real and total destruction of the East of Waverley and in particular Cranleigh and the villages around – just 8 miles from the bottom of Gatwick’s runway!
AND .. Now the affordable housing threshold is reduced to 30% Godalming is 300 affordable houses short, so it, like most Neighbourhood Plans, it was relying on Dunsfold to have the space and money to make up the numbers..
Its a bit rich for Anne, and perhaps Jeremy, to call the plan in – we assume in the name of democracy – as they don’t trust or support the judgement of their own Waverley Tories who approved the decision at Planning.
Hope Our Annie has her darning needle at the ready to start stitching up that great big hole in the Daft Local Plan!
The latest joke doing the rounds:
Q If it’s green and doesn’t move – what is it?
A. A potential development site in ‘Your Waverley’.
That dear readers, was Young Narcissus (AKA Councillor Alan Young ) crashing, banging and flailing his way down the greasy political pole he has been so assiduously clambering up in recent years.
Just like a contestant in a game of Snakes & Ladders (the key word here is snake!) Young Narcissus slid all the way down the board on Friday evening to land on his arse! Brings to mind that lovely Tommy Steel number in Half A Sixpence:
‘old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet Bangin’ on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum Stick it in your fam’ly album
However, this was no musical comedy. This was real life in the Surrey Suburbs – yes, we know that those of you who’ve emigrated from Nappy Valley (AKA Wandsworth Common) like to think you’ve moved to an idyllic rural utopia but, in reality, Surrey is just a suburb of Greater London.
The Young Narcissus (YN) and his cohorts’ conspiracy to take over the Guildford Conservative Association (GDA) came to nothing on Friday evening; when he crashed out of the running to be re-selected as a Surrey County Councillor in spectacular fashion. However, though that was cause to bring out the bunting, his wife, the Queen Vic (AKA Victoria Young,) was re-selected for the Eastern Villages seat, but went on to slide back down the greasy pole to land slap, bang, wallop on top of him when she was out-voted in the attempted Tory Tossers takeover of GHQ.
So let’s declare a national holiday to mark the occasion!!
We at Waverley Web consider ourselves a relatively modest bunch, but like to think we made our own small contribution to assisting in the downfall of the overly-ambitious and unscrupulous Young Family. We’ve been told, on the QT by our Guildford Tory Moles, that members of the GCA were sufficiently alarmed by our recent article – Is Miss Whiplash About to Face a Backlash? – to rally to the cause and instead of curling up with their cocoa and slippers in front of the TV on Friday night, over 100 of them rallied to the aid of the Deputy Dominatrix (AKA Matron Milton) to out-fox NY & Co- the Dastardly Stennett Duo and Widow Ellis (of Bucks Green Volvo fame, who had a previous appointment – to name but a few.
Even Alfold’s Tory Nonogenarian Crone Betty Ames, was dragged from her coffin, before they nailed down the lid, to support the Young Narcissus in his hour of need! But all to no avail, for Annie got her gun and pistol-whipped her supporters into out-gunning YN and his posse to ensure he was defeated.
But what a pity, after such sterling efforts on the part of the Party Faithful, that former Cranleigh Parish Councillor Dominique McAll didn’t hold her nerve. You would have thought, having made the supreme sacrifice and given up TV-Gold in the form of Cruising with Jane McDonald, Ms McAll could have rewarded her colleagues by hanging on in there to see what happened on the night. But, no, Ms McAll tendered her resignation almost before the starter’s whistle blew. And, in doing so, she left the door open for John Beckwith-Smith – YN’s henchman – to garner enough votes to step into her flip-flops?
We shouldn’t really be surprised as Ms McAll has form for running away – when the going gets rough and the tough get going, she quits!
Regular readers may remember that Ms McAll was one of the most promising candidates to come out of Cranleigh in years and along with many others over there in the East had high hopes for this articulate, diligent, intelligent woman. Sadly, Ms McAll didn’t have the stamina for the ups-and-downs of parochial politics and at the first sign of competition resigned from the Parish Council when beaten to the Waverley Borough Council seat by her colleague, Liz Townsend.
Ms McAll embraced the GCA (Guildford Conservative Association) and, so everyone believed, she had too had set her sights on becoming a Surrey County Councillor – a stellar case of anything she can do (Liz Townsend, that is) I can do better!
But, lo and behold, once again, as soon as the going got rough, the not-so-tough Ms McAll, (or was she badly bullied?) ran for the Surrey Hills. Leaving the rest of us at the mercy of Y N’s Best Man, John Beckwith-Smith as the New Fundraising honcho.
A little light research reveals Mr Beckwith-Smith as an ‘Enhancer of the built environment …’ ? Yeah, your guess is as good as ours! We, at Waverley Web, can’t make up our minds if he is, preeningly, referring to what he considers to be his own good looks or if it’s a smart-ass reference to being a common-all-garden developer! And boy, haven’t we got enough of them in Waverley!
We’re slightly more impressed by his reference to being a ‘lighting expert,’ any man who is a qualified electrician would normally get our vote – it’s shows he’s of above average intelligence and we need more electricians here in Surrey. If you’ve just wandered down from Nappy Valley, put him on your speed-dial because it’s a bugger of a job trying to get hold of a good one in an emergency!
But that’s not all, apparently, he’s also an ‘interior architectural engineer’ … Beat’s us, we’ve no idea, despite Googling the term! Answers to email@example.com
Oh! and he’s also a ‘Coffee Professional’! OK, we get that, he’s worked in Costa – what student hasn’t?!
He also claims to be an ‘Excel Lover’; the ladies here in the Waverley Web office think he’s taking the p**s with that one and that it has nothing to do with the Microsoft Office application and everything to do with him boasting, slyly, of his bedroom antics. Enough said!
He also claims to be a ‘Club armchair occupant’. Well, there’s not much to say to that, except to misquote the words of Groucho Marx: ‘Please accept our resignation, we don’t care to be a member of any club that will have John Beckwith-Smith as a member.’Take note, Deputy Dominatrix!
Suffice to say, we, at Waverley Web, don’t yet know a lot about John Beckwith-Smith but that is going to change. Our researchers are on it as we type. So watch this space …