Our Bramley correspondent who commutes to Billingshurst outside of the rush hour is incandescent that daytime road works on the A281 – which seem to have been going on for weeks and weeks and weeks and … you get the picture – have increased his commute by up to 40 minutes each way.
“Why is it,! he fumed on Friday morning after another exhausting journey to work, “that every other county in the country can carry out roadworks on major A-roads overnight but here in Surrey we have to carry them out during the working day, inconveniencing thousands of people?”
With traffic between Bramley and Cranleigh being diverted via Shamley Green, our corespondent was livid, having been stuck, for twenty minutes, behind two articulated lorries “doing a Rumba” as they sashyaed backwards and forwards, in and out, trying to pass each other on the narrow, high-sided stretch of road just beyond Shamley Green itself. Whilst those “doing the Conga” behind found themselves breathing in, in sympathy, as if holding in their muffin tops might help to ease the passage of those behemoths that were not what the Romans had in mind when they introduced their road-building skills to Britain many millennia ago.
“Any minute now, I expected Craig Revell-Horwood to poke his head out of the cab and shout, It’s a complete di-sah-ster, dahling!” said our increasingly crabby correspondent. “And as for those poor businesses at Witley Manor, they’re deserted as no one can be arsed to navigate the extra 110 mile round trip to visit them! The florist is almost entirely reliant on weddings and funerals rather than passing trade; the farm shop has given up trying to predict how many pasties to make each day for an ever diminishing clientele and Taurus Wines is surviving on customer goodwill as the road works go on, and on and on and on …”
Meanwhile, our erstwhile Shamley Green Correspondent was aghast to read a recently erected sign on the Shamley Green to Cranleigh road which advised her, on Friday, that roadworks – ergo road closures – are coming to that road too in mid-July.
“Do you think the left-hand knows what the right-hand’s doing?” enquired Bramley and Shamley in unison.
The Waverley Web’s Editor smiled pityingly at them,
“I don’t think the right thumb knows what the right pinkie is doing, at Surrey Highways, let alone the left and right hands,” he said with the air of one who’s worked in the corridors of County Hall.
Meanwhile, Atomic Kitten seems to have hit the nail on the head again!
If you see me driving down the street
Staring at the sky
Even dragging your two feet
You’ll just pass me by
It still makes me cry
Cos I’m on my way home again!
And if you see me in tears
I’m not laughing and I’m no longer joking
Doing all I can
Don’t put me down
Cause I’m stuck aground
Trying to get home again!
Time is laying heavy on my heart
Seems I’ve got too much of it
Since Highways have been keeping me apart
My wife’s no longer smiling
If only for a while but
I’m still trying to get home again!
I’m coming home again
But for now I have to wait
This isn’t my time
It’s my fate
‘Cause I just can’t go on
It’s already been too long
Am I ever getting home again?!