We know developers trying to flog off a glut of new homes in the Eastern villages are getting desperate but really! Not this desperate, surely?
Once upon a time, there was a big developer who was so desperate to sell his houses he told porky pies about their attributes.
One of our followers has forwarded us the screenshot below from Berkeley Homes’ current advertising propaganda for its latest development in Cranleigh on Knowle Lane.
09 minutes from Cranleigh to Guildford!!!
Are they having a laugh? Well, the residents of Cranleigh certainly are. As one guffawing local described it – when she could stop laughing – “Laugh? I nearly peed my pants when I read that! Everyone knows the new residents of Leighwood Fields will be lucky to get out of Knowle Lane in under 09 minutes, the traffic’s so bad! It’s a good 30 minutes to Guildford – and that’s on a good day, outside of peak hours, if the lights are all in your favour and there are no other unexpected hold-ups.”
Now we all know there’s an overabundance of development in Cranleigh and developers are throwing in their grannies as live-in nannies if it cinches a sale (known as the ‘Grab-a-Grannie-Giveaway) but 09 minutes to Guildford by car?!?!?! In what parallel universe are they living?
20 minutes from Gatwick and … wait for it, wait for it!
Oops, silly us, we didn’t realise they were throwing in helicopters along with the Grab-a-Grannie-Giveaway!
Meanwhile, back in the real world, would-be buyers would be well advised to do the commute for themselves, rather than accept, as a given, the spiel from some ignorant copy-writer who sat at their desk in Soho making it up as they went along after a quick glance at Google Earth.
A bottle of Champagne to the person who can do the journey in a road-going car, in normal traffic conditions, without breaking the speed limit, in 09 minutes!