Residents in the east say they seldom see a policeman; however, some sleeping ones could soon arrive in  Elmbridge Road in West Cranleigh.

One of the major road approaches into the town is about to encounter yet another obstacle. The narrow one-way bridge near the Cranleigh Waters has caused many contentious incidents.

This is your Captain speaking: All aboard HMS Elmbridge?

  Surrey County Council highwaymen now have another little package of traffic calming measures up their sleeves. We would have thought they had had enough of urbanising Cranleigh, which is hanging on by its fingernails to its village status and faces huge urbanisation with its proposed High Street improvements.

Oh no—the highwaymen have come riding because a handful of residents of Elmbridge Road are annoyed at speeding traffic. Some of our bloggers have told us they spend more time queuing at the two one-way bridges, one of which is not all that it is cracked up to be and which engineers are monitoring closely!

The highwaymen’s cunning plan.

• Install traffic-calming measures of five pairs of speed cushions—they, too, have given up hope of ever seeing a policeman, even a sleeping one—placed at regular intervals between Lashmere and the Wey and Arun Canal Bridge, together with two road tables. That’s the one-way bridge where there are regular fisticuffs because there are no traffic lights.
• Ringo Starr once lived there – but no doubt left because he couldn’t stand the angry exchanges.

Aren’t the regular flooding incidents there enough to slow the traffic down?