Waverley’s planning portal hasn’t gone to pot its gone to Bot.

Waverley going down the drain
Waverley Planning Portal was going down the drain due to a BOT attack.

Chief Planning Officer, Zac Ellwood, apologised to members of the Western Planning Committee last night for the shortcomings of the Council’s planning portal.

Dare we suggest that he publicly apologise to residents – some of whom have been waiting so long to get an application determined that they believe asking God for Nelson to get his eye back would be easier and quicker!

As for checking on the current status of the schemes languishing at Waverley Towers – shortly to become a pile of rubble – forget it!  The screen spools and spool and spool and spools and spool no doubt  you get the idea!

But at least and at last, thanks to the Head Planning Honcho’s explanation, we now know why everything has been grinding ever-more slowly on Planet Planning Portal – otherwise known as Planet Zonk.

Apparently, it’s all to do with the BOTS!  Yes, folks, we said BOTS – not to be confused with former Tory leader Potts!  

At last night’s meeting, we could repeat the long and laborious explanation from the Head Honcho of Planning, but we don’t want you falling asleep in your cornflakes!  Suffice to say; a BOT is a web robot, a software application that runs automated tasks over the internet.  Typically BOTs perform simple, repetitive tasks much faster than a person, but, at Waverley Towers, the rot has set into the BOTS, and they’ve run amok. They are now mismanaging Your Waverley’s Planning Portal!  Not much change there then!  

With most of the staff from the Waverley Planning Department still working from home – or AWL (Absent with Leave!) as it’s now known – the BOTS have taken over the Asylum!  But fear not, according to the Head Honcho from Planning, the Men in White Coats are coming to take them away – the BOTS that is! – and once again, The Burys will resemble the Marie Celeste – no change there either then! – It has done ever since Civil Servants were given leave of absence to work from home so they could load the washing machine, unload the dishwasher, pick the kids up from school and walk Fido, all without work interfering with these activities.  

So folks, fear not, the new software is on the trot to interrogate and stop the bots, and according to Zac ‘The Knife’, all will be well sometime next week. We live in hope!





8 thoughts on “Waverley’s planning portal hasn’t gone to pot its gone to Bot.”

  1. Well thank goodness for that, I have made tea, walked the dog and put the wash on before I have been able to access most of the Applications…. The only time it seems to work OK is after 10pm for some weird reason, so been burning the midnight oil, trying to deal with the Multitude of Appeal sites we now have in Alfold. In fact we have FIVE – Yes FIVE Appeals going on currently equating to 193 New Homes!!!

    1. The Portal has been grinding to a halt regularly for the past 2 years. Previously they say they have moved to new servers, it is indexing, it is a short term issue, or “it is fine for us”. But the truth is their sub contractors don’t know what the problem is – otherwise it would have been fixed years ago.

      The planners also say, inexplicably, that they can’t provide a search function, nor allow documents to be listed in date order. So wading through big applications is not practical … almost playing into developers hands by giving them lots of opportunities to hide critical documents filed out of sequence and ambiguously named. When there are multiple revisions to master documents it does make you wonder how any Committee members can make head or tail of which documents will be legally binding. In the end it is all moot as Waverley have an impotent enforcement department so developers know they can rely on non-compliance of conditions… and do.

      1. Hi BlahBlah etc..
        I couldn’t agree more the amount of time as I am scrolling through the application documents where they load each PLOT – (when there are 99 or so it takes a long time…) then suddenly in between you will find a revised DAS or Ecology report that is so easy to miss. Then when you have looked at that one and closed it – Your start from the Top again which means once again you have to scroll through pages of TRIPE – It is quite obviously deliberate and designed to obfuscate.

        The site Has been slow for ages – But these “Bots” must be working overtime to reduce the speed of the site to the degree it is at now.

        I suppose it would be “unreasonable” to ask that the deadlines for some of the Appeals due in Next week be extended? Guess it would make WBC Planning Department look a bit poor if they requested it?????????

        Land Opposite Garden Centre Development
        APP/R3650/W/20/3265361 – 86 New Homes – Land South of Alfold Garden Centre due Monday 18th Oct according to Inspectorate but Wednesday 20th according to WBC

        Chapel Fields – BOTH Due in by Friday 22nd October – Didn’t even get this Appeal Letter until 12th October via email
        APP/R3650/W/3270595 – Removal of Conditions at Chapel Fields Windows/Enlargement/Extensions/change of use of A1& A3
        APP/R3650/W/21/3277100 – Additional 7 Homes on Chapel Fields.

        No wonder Villagers are knocking on doors asking if others have received any notifications? Something has to change and Bally fast!
        Grumpy of Alfold

    2. What the hell is going on over there in your neck of the woods? It sounds worse than over here in Godalming and Farnham. But if Michael Gove and Boris are true to their words, you will have no problems with your FIVE, REALLY FIVE appeals for an unbelievable 193 new homes!! Presumably, they are on brownfield land? More likely on open farmland and countryside?

  2. HI WW
    Lucky You over there – None of the Appeal sites are on BROWNFIELD LAND all Green field and Countryside beyond the Greenbelt. The one Opposite the Garden Centre Application is Grade 2 (overall) which means it is as per the Gov Website:

    4.1 Grade 1 – excellent quality agricultural land
    Land with no or very minor limitations. A very wide range of agricultural and horticultural crops can be grown and commonly includes:

    top fruit, for example tree fruit such as apples and pears
    soft fruit, such as raspberries and blackberries
    salad crops
    winter harvested vegetables
    Yields are high and less variable than on land of lower quality.

    4.2 Grade 2 – very good quality agricultural land
    Land with minor limitations that affect crop yield, cultivations or harvesting. A wide range of agricultural and horticultural crops can usually be grown. On some land in the grade there may be reduced flexibility due to difficulties with the production of the more demanding crops, such as winter harvested vegetables and arable root crops. The level of yield is generally high but may be lower or more variable than grade 1.

    4.3 Grade 3 – good to moderate quality agricultural land
    Land with moderate limitations that affect the choice of crops, timing and type of cultivation, harvesting or the level of yield. Where more demanding crops are grown yields are generally lower or more variable than on land in grades 1 and 2.

    We don’t need to grow our own crops do we? … We can import them from Europe and get all the non-existant HGV drivers to bring them over – Or better still get them on Containers that stick in the ports for 10+ days…………………….

    I lose the will sometimes!!!

    1. Lose the will? We will join you on that one. Good agricultural land going under concrete – what a waste – “cherish the countryside” said the Boris and Gove duo – what humbug. Tell that one to your Inquiry Inspector.

  3. I wish I could but it seems my Appeal Docs for the Thakeham homes Application – have gone “missing” at least they are not on the Waverely Planning site and obviously you cannot see what is on the Inspectorate site – so who knows where they are – maybe because it was 33 pages and as long and boring as the stuff the Applicates post on their appeals – maybe I exceeded my limits?

    Who knows – I have sent a copy to our WBC Councillor in the Hope that if it has got “Lost” he can still put it through – But I am not holding my breath. I have emailed WBC but heard nothing back so I just wonder why I bother?

    It isn’t just that they couldn’t be Ars**d to put mine up there – But when you promise neighbours that you will do all you can to help and then nothing it posted – it is disapointing to all – I will follow up – Just not a good time right now and have made my point so no bally point wasting any more time – Will have to ensure I do it better next time!

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