ROLL UP! ROLL UP!
Never mind food! The WAGS of Waverley – who all survive on lettuce leaves – are panic struck at the thought of being without that every day essential: Andrex Aloe Vera loo rolls!
Anxious Ladies Who Lunch have stopped tweeting photos of their Caesar Salad -“Hold the dressing and the croutons!” – and, instead, are tweeting photographs of empty shelves. In Tesco it’s loo rolls. In Sainsbury’s it’s kitchen roll and, wait for it, wait for it … in good old Waitrose it’s Gin!!!
Best advice we’ve read so far: In the event the crisis deepens, ‘Worried of Waverley’ is block booking colonic irrigation!
Heaveen only knows what they’ll do at Waverley Towers when the sh*t hits the fan again … Close the Council Offices, we presume! Because we heard that Sainsburys’ in Godalming has run dry of gin and loo rolls. OMG!
“An older Worried of Waverley’ has written to us, saying it could be back to olden days. When out came the neatly cut up newspapers, threaded with string? Answer on a postcard? Which newspaper will make the grade? First prize to the winner: A bottle of Gin – if we can find one!