Just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder something really weird drops onto your door mat or, in the case of Waverley Web, into our in-box …
The Waverley rumour mill went into over drive recently (so we are reliably informed) after every borough and even some parish councillors awoke to find a poison-pen-postcard, allegedly a confessional from the Flying Scotsman, lying on their door mats. So poisonous was it, that a warning has gone out to dog-owners, because it could be more lethal to pets than the Green & Black free chocolate scourge!
The list of potential authors is endless – in fact, we’re thinking of opening a book at Bet Fred – but what’s not in doubt is that the Flying Scotsman has royally *ISSED OFF someone somewhere.
Several recipients of the poison-pen-postcard forwarded it to Waverley Web and – surprisingly – the sentiments expressed were universal disgust:
“I’m not a fan of Mr McAllister but this type of poison pen letter is the work of a bitter and twisted mind and the writer needs to be exposed.”
“At first I thought it was a joke but on second reading it dawned on me that it was, in fact, a malevolent and vicious attempt to denigrate Mr McAllister. The writer must have a deep and very personal grudge to write something so venal not only about the man himself but about his family and his employees. I very much hope Mr McAllister gets to the bottom of who’s behind this and I’ve offered him the handwritten envelope if he wishes to take it to the police. I hope he does as there’s something very unhealthy and deeply disturbing about this type of behaviour and who knows what it might lead to.”
“In common with many of my colleagues, I’m not a torch bearer for Dunsfold Park but this flyer is pure malice and I have great sympathy for McAllister and his team. It’s a particularly nasty and malicious personality to go to so much trouble to publically demonise someone.”
The Waverley Web – which gets a mention in the poison-pen-postcard (apparently, we’re owned by the man we’ve ‘affectionately’ named the Flying Scotsman!) and our alleged correspondents – known as ‘princesses of poison’ – are Councillors Mary Foryszewski and Liz Townsend, short-lived former Cranleigh Parish Councillor Dominique McAll and someone called Kay – thought to be former Alfold Parish Councillor Kay Newman.
Ye Gods! It makes us sound like something out of Star Wars. The Flying Scot is, of course, Darth Vadar and the ‘princesses of poison’ are his Storm Troopers. No doubt the author of the poison-pen-postcard sees him/her self as Obi-Wan Kenobi with poor old Bob Lees cast as Yoda … or is it Chewbacca? And the PoW campaigners are the Rebels. If she plays her cards right, Dear Denise could get a staring role as Princess Leia and Nic-the-brick-Pigeon and Charles William Orange Esq can be R2-D2 and C-3PO – no squabbling over who’s who, chaps!
Our message to P. Oscar Whiskey (the signature on the card, no doubt trying to cast suspicion on the PoW Campaign): Don’t waste your money on Royal Mail, send ecards to us here at Waverley Web. We like your style – ‘Princesses of Poison’, ‘Braveheart’ (now why didn’t we think of that one?!), the ‘B-Team beavering away on brown envelopes’, ‘purveyors of true planning stories in Waverley’ – we’ll publish you for free and our reach is borough-wide! Why waste time cutting, pasting and posting when we can do it all in a flash at the press of a button?
We thought the silly-season was over, but, clearly, there’s more to be mined from Waverley’s swamp …. Or, as some councillors said, is Autumn ushering in a darker, more sinister season as the nights draw in? One thing is sure, as we at the Waverley Web draw the curtains and light the log burner, we’re waiting with baited breath for the next instalment in this fascinating saga of everyday developers. We can really empathise with our Victorians ancestors, anxiously waiting on the next instalment of Martin Chuzzlewit … or do we mean Little Dorrit? Whatever, don’t keep us waiting too long – we liked the sound of you having plenty more to brag about so much we nearly peed our pants!!!
PS Who do our readers think wrote this poisonous little billet-doux? Various names have been banded about by those who forwarded the poison-pen-postcard to us but one name came up over and over and over again. Why? Apparently, it wouldn’t be the first time the gentleman (who’s clearly not one) in question has sent a letter to Waverley BC accusing the Flying Scot of various misdemeanours – all without a shred of evidence, we understand – and who, but a fellow Scot, would sign off ‘Yours aye’? No names, no pack drill but we guess, from the comments made to us, that the writer has done them self considerably more damage than they’ve done the Flying Scot!
PPS By the by, we think it’s a bit mean of the author of the poison-pen-postcard to cast the blame onto PoW by signing off as P. Oscar Whiskey – or do they think the Flying Scot is not only the brains but the money behind the PoW Campaign too? Now why didn’t we think of that?! Of course, if he’s the owner of the Waverley Web, set up and funded the Cranleigh Society, is dishing out brown envelopes, both locally and nationally, why wouldn’t he set up a body like PoW in order to control the opposition too?! Genius!
Whatever next …? We hear the Surrey Ad might be up for grabs but why stop there? Why not make a takeover bid for the Farnham and Haslemere Heralds.