In this instance we are not laughing at ‘Your Waverley” we are laughing with ‘Your Waverley’.
And here’s why!
Our Waverley Web correspondents get invited to all sorts o frivolities and jollities over the Christmas period and at many of them we find ourselves mingling with our Waverley Borough Council friends and even, in some cases – whisper it who dares – our foes.
Now stop giggling because this is deadly serious – ok?
Over a glass of Prosecco -, Lidl’s of course, this is, after all, Your parsimonious Waverley we’re talking about – we heard that a new dictat has gone out to everyone, and we mean everyone in Waverley’s hallowed halls.
So incensed is Waverley’s Chief Planning Officer, Elizabeth Sims with people dropping papers on her desk with the throw away line: ‘Liz, do the Biz!’ and councillors referring to her during public meetings as ‘Liz’ that she has now decreed that unless they refer to her as ELIZABETH – YOU KNOW THE SAME AS HRH – they will be ignored – well, it could be worse, at least she’s not threatening to chew them up and spit them out all over the Bury’s car park!
So in the traditional spirit of Good Will that Christmas ushers in, the Waverley Web correspondents have been mulling over what to call Liz the Biz – ooops! Elizabeth Sims – going forward.
Our Cranleigh Correspondent, who is still deeply *issed-orf by Elizabeth Sims’ failure to object to the concreting over of green fields in Cranleigh suggested Betty Boop!
Our Farnham Correspondent whom, it has to be admitted, had seriously over indulged on the mulled wine at this point – suggest Lilibet – as in Her Majesty – or, as she hiccuped and – hush, whisper it who dares – just ever-so-slightly slurred her words, it sounded more like, ‘a little – or back to supermarkets, lidle – bet! Moving swiftly on, after all, local residents and developers may be taking bets on the outcome of a planning application but we don’t want Liz the Biz – ooops! Elizabeth – actually running the book!!!
Our Chiddingfold correspondent – who, it has to be admitted, had reached the rolliking stage as he’d been on the Christmas cocktails – suggested Dolly! Surely, surely not as in Parton? enquired our Ewhurst Correspendent, stuggling to find the comparison. ‘No! As in Dolly the Sheep. Durrrhhh!’ Don’t you know Planning Officers are all clones …’
If any of our readers have any better suggestions, answers on an email, please, because the jury’s still out; it is, after all, the season of goodwill, tra-la-la, tra-la-la …
SO, FROM NOW ON THIS DISRESPECTFUL SCURRILOUS BLOG THAT TAKES THE MICKEY BLISS OUT OF OUR HARD WORKING, PUBLIC SPIRITED COUNCIL – WILL FOREVER MORE BE SILENT ON THE CHIEF PLANNING OFFICER…
NOW AND FOREVER MORE ‘LIZ THE BIZ’ SHALL BE CALLED…
ELIZABETH THE BUSINESS! Unless you have a better idea?
AND THIS YEAR’S Waverley Web AWARD FOR 2017 goes to… The Waverley officer who has no sense of community, no sense of what the word ‘planning’ means – and absolutely no sense of humour!