The Dunsfold Park Inquiry reconvened yesterday to discuss the Planning Conditions and Section 106 Agreement and concluded with a site visit for the Inspector and various interested parties, including Beverley Weddell, Clerk to three of the 11 Parishes and an enthusiastic supporter of PoW. Also along for a ride on Dunsfold’s Big Dipper was A’ Miss Dodeck’ as the Inspector called her, along with Sarah Sullivan, of the new, highly suspect, Dunsfold Heritage Group. No doubt Ms Sullivan hoped to spot and slap a heritage sticker on anything that was built pre 2016!
Surprisingly, it was all relatively painless, not least because it was Charlotte Web’s distinct impression that PoW & the Parishes were bailing out water with a hole in their bucket. The Section 106 contributions (for the uninitiated that’s the dosh the Big D has to hand over for infrastructure IF it finally gets to build anything
seemed generous to our eagle eye when compared to any other development in the area – so the moaners had little to quibble over, however, it didn’t stop them trying!
Rumpole was irritated beyond belief that, despite promising to get a document to everyone by Friday evening, PoW & the Parishes’ paper was a… ‘no show’ … and was still absent at a.m Monday! Eventually, the missive dropped into his inbox that night at 10pm but without the courtesy of providing the Inspector with a copy! Result: An adjournment to allow the Inspector to get up to speed!
Mr Lees of PoW seemed to think that was something to smirk about … God alone knows why. WWeb suspected it was possibly due to PoW & the Parishes’ Mr Rice, ‘moving the deckchairs around on the Titanic’ in an attempt to justify his fat fee!
Having spun a web over a copy of the s106 we will now digest the detail, but a brief glance revealed that no other developer even comes close to dishing the dosh like Dunsold! We can’t decide whether the BigD should be congratulated or certified for insanity, cos no other developer is digging anywhere near that deep! Big D makes other developer’s s106 contributions look miserly – or do we mean, genius?
After a week-end to refresh themselves, the same old, same old – emphasis on the old! – locals were out in force in the stalls; all 11 of them! One dozed off before the coffee break and only three returned after. Post lunch they were down to two! Incy Wincy, who had taken over the watch from Charlotte Web, noted that they were going down faster than 10 Green Bottles! You just don’t find the stamina these days!
Charles William Orange Esq (soon to be developer of the Parish of Hascombe)
was noticeable by his absence … strange that. He’s not been sighted in public since the Waverley Web outed him as a NIMBY Developer who’s had an epiphany and decided to build on green fields and green belt in his own back yard. Kerching![audiosrc=”https://waverleywebdotorg.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/orange-the-future-is-bright-the-future-is-orange.mp3″%5D%5B/audio%5D
Local resident and keen supporter of PoW – aren’t they all! – John Jeffries waddled up to the Inspector during the coffee break and bent his ear – so we’re told – about a further submission he’d made regarding the unsuitability of the roads and a conversation he’d had with one of the bus companies about it being impossible for them to run a punctual service because the roads were too narrow! Had a member of Team DP dared to accost the Inspector, PoW and the Parishes would, no doubt, have accused them of trying to nobble him and screamed ‘Foul!’ and ‘Mistrial!’
Kevin De’Anus, having finally escaped the clutches of the Thakeham Thugs Springbok Inquiry, rocked up after lunch, but needn’t have bothered because it was all over bar the shouting! Just as well, poor old, Dick De’Anus looked as if he’d had enough Inquiries to last him a lifetime.
RUMBLED BY RUMPOLE.
Just once, Rumpole almost lost his cool, but, he reined it in and, with a world weary air, told the Inspector that, despite Pow & the Parishes’ oft repeated claim that Dunsfold Park was responsible for every adverse traffic issue and every HGV trip on the A281, that it was simply not the case. But, he said, this ‘very silly claim’ was really beginning to get under his team’s skin! Even Mr Lies looked shame-faced at being rumbled by Rumpole for such a blatantly stupid claim. That was a first for Mr Lies, looking ashamed, we mean not telling big fat pork-pies!
As an aside, the Inspector asked someone to do a word search on the s106 document because Alfold was frequently misspelled as ‘Awfold’. DON’T FRET Sir nobody gets it right!
Surrey & Sussex Police and Surrey County Council Highways rocked up in defensive mode, in case anyone wanted to mess with their very generous s106 benefits! Entirely understandable as the Big D is now referred to as the Waverley/Guildford CASH COW because it is being milked by everyone who wants to build in the East.