Does Alfold Parish Council need its very own Jackie Weaver?



Alfold Parish councillors have been notably absent from a six-day public inquiry. An inquiry that could land another 99 homes off the busy Loxwood Road in the countryside. 

They seek them here; they seek them there,
those beleaguered Alfold residents seek their councillors everywhere!
Are they in Devon or lounging in the Caribbean?
Those damned elusive councillors certainly won’t be going to Heaven!

They meddle in the Council Chamber
Zooming in and out each week,
spoiling ev’ry planning application.
What a bloody cheek!

Our apologies to Sir Percy Blakeney and Baroness Orczy!

Not a peep has been heard out of the Alfold parish pip-squeaks. In another lifetime – or do we mean another ward? – Alfold residents could rely on their local councillors to stand up and be counted – say what you like about Betty Ames (and we frequently did!), but you never saw – or didn’t see! – Betty cowering behind the sofa at Public Inquiries where the outcome would impact  Alfold residents!

This latest bunch of wimps aren’t fit to wipe the *sses of Betty and her ilk! OK, we know there’s a pandemic on and Boris is urging everyone to work from home so they can attend the end of term office Christmas Party but, despite watching every cough, sniffle and sneeze that has emitted from the Inquiry, over Zoom, we haven’t seen so much as a shadow of ‘Penny for her thoughts’ or Little Britton!

Is Waverley now handing out invisibility cloaks to its councillors rather than masks? Some of them need to take a leaf out of Farnham Cllr Carole Cochburn’s very comprehensive planning book. She was watching almost every day, no doubt cringing as we were. Even De’Anus only watched silently from the wings. 

But we digress. We’re talking about Councillor Little Britton, who spent every day in the Council Chamber and subsequently the High Court, fighting Dunsfold Park’s garden village! So why isn’t he doing the same on behalf of Alfold? 

Oops! Silly us! Little Britton’s house doesn’t overlook Alfold! And, a bit like a Super Model, Little Britton doesn’t get out of bed unless there’s something in it for him! Or has he just run out of bile, having spat it out all over Dunsfold Garden Village?  

So there you have it, folks, the Alfold parish councillor who helped spearhead the Protect Our Waverley Group to stop Dunsfold Park in its tracks (and this before he became a parish councillor!) is nowhere to be seen when he should be manning the barricades, fighting tooth-and-nail for his parishioners.  

Little Britton would do well to remember that his parishioners have long memories and come the next election; his new nickname – The Invisible Man – won’t do him any favours!!!

So come on, Jackie – do the business and start roughing up Alfold Parish Council after ‘all every little helps!’ And if anyone parish council needs help in this beleaguered borough it is the one that is all too often referred to as “poor old Alfold.”

Perhaps that’s why ‘Your Waverley’ didn’t even bother to webcast it. Watch the current Haslemere public Inquiry and spot the difference!

Thank you to the follower who sent us the cartoon.

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