It’s all about Butts.


It would seem the chickens have come home to roost for the woman, formerly known as the Deputy Dominatrix, in the recent reshuffle following Teresa May’s now infamous election victory that wasn’t!


StTriniansanne.pngWithout a parliamentary majority and with Labour, the Greens (or do we mean the Green?!), the Lib Dems and the SNP hell-bent on a summer of discontent, the Tories know that their Whips need to be of the highest calibre. No surprises, then the woman formerly known as the Deputy Dom hasn’t made the grade, cut the mustard, come up to snuff … we could go on but you get the picture.

Too busy rushing around the Westminster Village, calling in political favours at the behest of Protect our Little Corner … to be effective where  it now really matters – in the Whips Office!  Now the going’s got tough the Deputy Dom has been kicked into the long grass – otherwise known as the Department of Education.  There where no one expects anything of  import or substance to occur now the PM’s grandiose plan for more grammar schools has been abandoned because the Trots, who are snapping at her heels, don’t like anything that smacks of middle-class privilege!

Rumours abound that Matron Milton’s leaving present from the Whips Office was a T-shirt bearing the inscription Been there, done that, made it all better!

As if!!!

One of the wits at the Waverley Web’s most recent brain-storming suggested a better strap line for the woman formerly known as the Deputy Dom: Just Relax! This won’t hurt a bit …

Who’s she trying to kid? The people of Cranleigh who are up to their necks in sh*t pits and concrete, all because she bullied Barwell into calling in the Biggest Brownfield site in the Borough! Another lot going through next week on a – flood plain, opposite the Poo Factory!

Having spent her formative years on the wards and in the sluice room, before sliding down into the sewers of Westminster, we can only assume Matron Milton presumes that, like her, the people of Cranleigh don’t mind being up to their elbows in effluent … or, maybe, it’s just that when the sh*t hits the fan in Cranleigh, Matron Milton will simply waltz back up the A281 to Guildford …

Or maybe she just got caught short for, rumour has it, Matron Milton was planning to retire at the next election but was wrong-footed when the PM called a snap one. Although her vote was 2.5% down on two years ago that didn’t stop the lacklustre Guildford MP gushing to the Surrey Advertiser, ‘It’s fantastic and I think the really humbling moment is the fact the people of Guildford and Cranleigh have put their trust and faith in me again …’

Hardly! Let’s get real for a moment. As we’ve said before – and, as our regular readers know, we never mind repeating ourselves – Matron Milton has the good fortune to be in a seat so safe it they put a blue rosette on the arse of a monkey  Cranleigh residents would vote for it! 

The DD has spent her entire career in the butts arena – first she was sticking it to people with a syringe, then  tongue-lashing them into shape in the Whips Office and now she’s landed on her butt in education where she will, no doubt, be dishing out six of the best to the right to  the far right. Oh how the not so mighty have fallen …! Strange to think Cronus, the Tory Chief Whip, Gavin Williamson’s, desk-top tarantula survived the reshuffle whilst the hapless Matron Milton didn’t. What’s he got she hasn’t? Well, according to the Chief Whip, ‘ Cronus is a perfect example of an incredibly clean, ruthless killer – absolutely fascinating to rear.’ And there you have it, we’re back to the butts again!

Butt enough of the Westminster Village! Back  in Alfold and Dunsfold, rumour has it Matron Milton and Kevin D’Anus have been working closely together to dash the Dunsfold development, which leads us to conclude with that old chestnut:

What did one butt cheek (D’Anus) say to the other butt cheek (Matron Milton): Together we can stop this brown stuff and plump for the green stuff.

Talking of ‘that Dick D’Anus’ rumour in the corridors of Waverley has it that Kevin D’Anus thinks he’s got a great ass … What???!!!??? Apparently, it’s because every time he finishes talking and walks away he hears people whisper, ‘What an ass!’ Yep, you read it here first, folks!

Ever wondered why there aren’t enough employment sites in ‘Your Waverley.’ well here’s your answer!

All over the borough/country due to recent changes in planning legislation, former office/work unit accommodation units are being turned into residential accommodation.


Because with business rates and rents rising it is now proving to be more profitable for developers to turn them into residential units.

Then along come developers,  no doubt, seeking planning permission   to build similar offices and shops for much needed employment, and then…..

Around and around it all goes again…

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Is ‘Your Waverley” turning a deaf ear to everyone in this borough?

It’s official – Your Waverley really has GONE TO POTTS! It doesn’t listen to anyone, anywhere, any time, any more!

So how about we all  get together – and take  a Screen Shot 2017-06-19 at 22.50.50.png

The doors of the council chamber are more often than not slammed shut and now the closed notices have gone up and the locks are on the public lavatories in Haslemere, Godalming and Farncombe.

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Just been barred … from having a pee in Godalming..


Other residents have taken it upon themselves to install mobile loos – in the bus shelter in Godalming. Route Number 2?

Here’s our post: OH DEAR! What can the matter be?

and here’s a sample ‘ of  the Twitter storm!

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Perhaps that Vote of NO CONFIDENCE fell on deaf ears?


This is a letter sent out to supporters of The Cranleigh Civic Society – from the people…screen-shot-2016-05-03-at-14-22-39

Dear Members and Friends

As you are aware, Cranleigh Civic Society held a meeting in the Village Hall on 25th May to discuss the planning permission already granted and the further huge amount of housing being earmarked for Cranleigh in the draft Local Plan.
Many residents expressed their deep concerns about the relentless growth of new housing in Cranleigh, particularly as Waverley Borough Council has simply not dealt with Cranleigh’s serious infrastructure problems first.
At the end of the meeting, local residents took a vote of “NO CONFIDENCE” in the Leadership of Waverley Borough Council

226 FOR
1 AGAINST (this was a Waverley Borough Councillor)
2 ABSTENTIONS (we think from people who live outside of Cranleigh)

We have written to Julia Potts, the Leader of Waverley Borough Council, to confirm the vote of “No Confidence” taken by those attending the public meeting:
Dear Ms Potts
As you are aware, Cranleigh Civic Society recently organised a public meeting at our village hall at which we shared our knowledge of what is happening now, and what is being planned for the future of our village. Many of the 229 people who attended passionately expressed their anger and concerns about the volume of housing your team has approved to be built on our green fields and how many more you intend to send our way.
Equal to this were the worries about how our already poor infrastructure will cope with the huge increase in the population. As promised, I relayed your message of how much you care about our village, and I must tell you it was not well received.
At the end of the meeting we offered the opportunity for them to vote by a show of hands if they wanted to send you a strong and clear message that they do not have confidence in your team’s ability to care for the quality of our lives and wellbeing through your actions and inaction; 226 voted to support this statement, one opposed and two abstained.
I trust this message is clear.
Phill Price
Cranleigh Civic Society

We have not received a reply from this letter yet.

Also discussed at the meeting was the petition we have been running to ask our MP to insist on our drinking water to be tested for the risk from asbestos, as 29.6% of our water pipes are made from asbestos cement. The petition has now closed at 714 signatures and we have now sent this to Anne Milton for her action.
What are the next steps?
We are now investigating the options available to us and we will let you know when we know more.

What can we all do?
– Write to your MP Anne Milton NOW (email Whilst we as the Cranleigh Civic Society are strictly non-political, you may feel that you have been let down by your MP in not stopping the relentless attack by housing developers on Cranleigh’s green fields, particularly as it is Government Policy that brown field sites should be built on nationally first.
– Write to the Waverley Borough Councillors (details are on their website) to tell them you are not happy with the way the decisions are made.
– Object online on all applications you feel are unsustainable – details are on our website
– Turn up at the Council Offices at The Bury’s, Godalming when the Joint Planning Committee meet to vote on the larger housing applications. The public gallery only has a few seats so either turn up early or turn up just for the arrival of the councillors before the meeting so that they can see that people of Cranleigh do really care.
– If not already done, subscribe to the updates from our website, so you are informed of any news

We will update the website in the next few days with diary dates for the upcoming Little Meadow application, Springbok Inquiry, Dunsfold Inquiry, etc


Jane Price
Membership Secretary
Cranleigh Civic Society

Will the people of Cranleigh get a response?

Don’t hold your breath, because ‘Your Waverley’ doesn’t give a jot what Cranleigh people think. If it  did, it wouldn’t be putting out RFP’s (Request for Proposal) to sports consultants around the country to build a new Leisure Centre on the Snoxhall Playing fields – on land held  by Cranleigh Parish Council on behalf of its residents!

OH DEAR! What can the matter be?


‘Three of our towns won’t have any lavatories, they’ll have nothing from Monday till Saturday, nobody knows to pee where..?

Haslemere,  Godalming and Farncombe won’t have a pot to pi** in thanks to ‘Your Waverley.’

In other words the borough has, literally Gone to Potts!

Let’s all pee in Julia’s Potty!

How about this for a sorry tale of woe if ever there was one. Spending a penny, just became a whole lot more difficult for the folk in three  of our beleaguered towns.

In its bid to save pounds, spending a penny in the three town’s public conveniences is about to become a Hurculean task. Because they are about to: Close; shut; taet; dicht; fermer; preto; in der Nahe; chiudere; közel; preto; a prop; gar….

Get the picture? SHUT.

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WW found the bit about the “Acting Town Clerk” Andy Jeffery interesting! In fact we could find the reason for the sudden departure of The Town Clerk … very interesting. WWethinks we need to start spinning that web!

Here’s Haslemere’s WC which is about to be slashed to make for more parking spaces! It tells the WW…

Haslemere Town Council is very concerned that Waverley Borough Council is intending to close the public toilets in the High St carpark to make way for more parking spaces.

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We are currently making representations to WBC to try and keep this well used facility open on behalf of local residents but we need your help. Although we know they are well used and vital to many residents, by signing this petition you give further weight to our fight by clicking on the link at the bottom of the post.

Thankfully over there in the East of the borough all the developers over there are flushed with their own success. They are busy building their very own poo pits now the Grampian Conditions drafted by ‘Your Waverley’ aren’t worth the toilet paper they were written on and the sewage treatment works cannot cope! 

Sign Haslemere’s petition to stop the slashing of services!

Dunsfold Airfield – a Heritage Site? – No way!

So determined are the members of ‘Protect Out Little Corner of Waverley and to hell with the rest,’ to stop the development of the borough’s largest brown field site, that they have dragged  tax-payer-funded Historic England into their bitter battle against the developers.  But yet another determined effort to stop development at Dunsfold at all costs, has, failed.

POLCOW – is throwing the taxpayers’ money around like smarties in their endeavours to save their little patch of the borough from development. In addition to wanting to stick  a blue plaque on the site and call it a National Treasure, it has also sought and gained permission for a Judicial Review against – Super Efficient Waverley Borough Council – because the dummies FORGOT, yes, that’s right  FORGOT! to add a decision made by the Executive plonkers in December 2014 into its Constitution!

Yes, one of the most important base documents that the borough council holds – and works to,  was,  quickly changed following legal advice at the last Executive meeting …  INCOMPLETE AND INCORRECT!

You can read more about the big gaff  here:

Cranleigh’s voice has spotted that mistake – that might be getting… BIGGER!

:Could POW, KNOW HOW – TO SCUPPER ‘Your Waverley’s planning decisions? 

 Ten out of Ten to POLCOW for spotting the mistake. Nil Point – for wasting even more of the tax-payers rapidly diminishing funds and giving the thumbs-up to every single developer sending drones over our countryside, including large sites in Alfold and Dunsfold,  to make-up the shortfall when/if the airfield  bites the dust!

Of course, if you are really protecting ‘Your Waverley” as you so boldly claim, perhaps if your bid succeeds, you realise that many of the consents given on developments already under-way around the borough are illegal too! 

Another fine mess ‘Your Waverley’ has got us into?

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Oh! by the way DAHS spokesman … where have you been all these years, Dunsfold has a Museum which is well supported by people near and far who have  emotional links with the place.  Your view , is not the overwhelming view of  the local population. Talk about hyperbole!  You could spin a bigger web than we do!

OH! And please don’t stop sending your childish complaints. We don’t mislead the public, we inform them and so does the brilliant Farnham and Haslemere Heralds – featured here:


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Have ‘Your Waverley’ and the Berkeley Bunnies played a foul on Cranleigh’s sports men, women and children?

Here they go, here they go… to…Alfold…Dunsfold…Ewhurst…Horsham or the lowest bidder?

A decision by “Your Waverley” and …  for the moment –  by, others … UNKNOWN, – may have signalled the end of one of the oldest football clubs in Surrey.

 The insensitivity of  Waverley Borough Council  could prove to be the last straw that breaks the back of Cranleigh’s 124 year-old  Football Club…

** Ah well! What happens in Farnham to-day – happens to Cranleigh and the rest of the borough tomorrow!


By providing £173,000 towards an All Weather Football Pitch at – Cranleigh Public School

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Please Sir – can you find Cranleigh footballers a new home?

It is widely  known locally, that Berkeleys had promoted other schemes to improve the lives of young and old – as part of its contribution towards  the creation of Cranleigh new Town.

It offered ‘Your Waverley a £1.3m community building on part of its site of 425 new homes between Knowle Lane and Alfold Road, Cranleigh. This was scuppered by a Cranleigh borough/parish councillor! 

It is also well-known locally that Park Mead School requires £25,000 towards improving its facilities!

But ‘Your Waverley’  – decided it was prudent to provide £173,000 to one of the country’s top private schools.  At a time when the car park to the Snoxhall Playing fields is  closed due to health and safety hazards and the Snoxhall Pavilion,  where senior and youth footballers took cold showers throughout the Winter,  – is,  a disgrace ! 

This sentence is taken from the council papers in a list of contributions by Berkeley Homes, as part of an Infrastructure package. Other developers are putting money into Cranleigh Arts Centre.

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However, at behind closed doors meetings with officers, Cranleigh borough and county councillors and the developer, Berkeley Homes’  offer was shunned in favour of…the above. 

 The details of a £3m legal agreement that Berkeley Homes will contribute  for infrastructure were recently revealed by officers. There was an  outcry at a recent public meeting when villagers learned that it included £173,000 for a synthetic pitch to be constructed near Glebelands School.   Waverley planners were considering details of the first (55) of four phases of 425 homes planned at the back of Stocklund Square.

Waverley Web asks ..was no thought at all given to grass-roots sport in  Cranleigh?

This latest revelation, for the cash-strapped football club, could now be   the final straw – and at a meeting last week, the club  warned – it may have to leave Cranleigh after 124 years!

One player wrote to the Waverley Web saying: “the shock revelation that this huge sum of money has been contributed towards a pitch for Cranleigh School – and that villagers will have to pay to use it, is the final kick in the crotch for our players.

We have been struggling for years. It costs four times as much for our teams to play in Cranleigh than in any of the other villages around – the facilities at Snoxhall are non-existent, and quite frankly are a disgrace. The parish council has recently closed the car park – and we have heard to-day that we, and visiting teams,  will in future,  have  to pay to use it.  Which is against League rules, and we may be thrown out!

 We  feel we no longer belong in our own village. We believe  Waverley Council is considering building a new Leisure Centre on part of our playing fields – and we understand, the parish council, who owns the land  is trying to “protect them”  from the land grabbers at Waverley. So if we leave Cranleigh perhaps we will be doing everyone a favour?”

It may be too late, but some thought needs to be given to ensuring the development and success of grass root sport in Cranleigh, particularly football, which attracts over 400 youngsters and older players every Saturday.

We want to know? – Where are all the children of all these families  proposing to  live here going to play sport in the future?

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** Farnham folk Petitioned the Queen to remove the town from Waverley. Cranleigh folk take a Vote of No Confidence in Waverley. Farnham’s Memorial Hall and playing fields used by the football club,  kicked out and moved elsewhere. Waverley has its eye on  Cranleigh football grounds ….and  Haslemere’s youth facilities.. etc … Sound familiar?

Wonder if they have had a reply yet?


This is the letter The Cranleigh Civic Society sent to ‘You Waverley” following a….

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The message may be clear Mr Price, but don’t hold your breath waiting for a response that will bring about any change, take your Vote of No Confidence seriously,  prompt a change of culture, or recognise your very serious concerns. Concerns that are shared  by many other residents of the borough including here in Farnham. 

Perhaps they could take a lesson from the recent General Election and the arrogance shown by the Tory party nationally….  and start listening?

P.S. the  abstention  was a Waverley Borough Councillor and the two abstentions were from people who lived outside Cranleigh. So in other words – the vote was UNANIMOUS.


Barmy Barwell or Builder Barwell?

One could be forgiven for thinking that Gavin Barwell MP, the former Minister for Housing, wanted to build houses. Indeed, his rhetoric on the subject, prior to the recent election, was compelling.

Speaking at the MIPIM, an International property conference hosted in Cannes, Mr Barwell  told developers…

“If you’ve got parts of the country where you want to build homes and you’re struggling to find land, you come and see me and I will then raise those issues with the relevant local authorities.”

And if anyone had any doubts about his sincerity he went on to say,

“That’s an offer to anyone in this room – if you’re struggling to find sites you [can] come talk to me and I’ll try and do something about it.”

He went on to ram the message home by saying he wanted to be,

“clear and unequivocal” he was there to help them build the hundreds of thousands of new homes to help fix to help fix the UK’s housing crisis!

Hundreds of thousands of homes? Bring it on! He really couldn’t be any clearer could he? Oh yes he could, for he then said…

The government was committed to building more homes releasing enough land for around 160,000 new properties.

And then, to be absolutely sure he left his audience in no doubt whatsoever, Barwell said he wanted to “change the politics” of house building so local people did not automatically protest at the suggestion of new build. He went on to warn of “hard discussions” with local politicians who held up development.

Oh yeah? If that was really the case why did he then roll over and stick his buttocks in the air when fellow Tory MP, Matron Milton, went crying to him about a major brownfield development on her patch that had just been granted consent by the Local Authority? Did he hand her a hanky and tell her to buck up? Did he remind her that he was on record that he would have “hard discussions” with local politicians, like the Deputy Dominatrix, who tried to hold up development? Did he hell! No! He smiled sweetly and presumably said something along the lines of ‘Yes, of course, Annie. Anything you want, Annie. How high shall I jump, Anne?’ And promptly called in the consented application to build 1800 much needed homes on Dunsfold Aerodrome.

So much for his much for his ‘clear and unequivocal’ claim that ‘the government was committed to building more homes …’ Just not in the backyards of the Tory faithful!!!

Now Barwell, who lost his Croydon Central seat in the election – and is blaming it all on austerity and Brexit – has been given a consolation prize – although some might consider it a poisoned chalice! He has the ear of our erstwhile PM, having just become her new Chief of Staff. No doubt the Deputy Dominatrix will be all over him like a rash in his new role, demanding he begs Mrs May to stamp her size six Russell & Bromleys all over plans to build at Dunsfold Airfield.

Whip-crack-away … whip-crack-away … whip-crack-away …

Mr Barwell may well be wishing himself anywhere but in No 10 by the time the Deputy Dom has finished nagging him black and blue!

or on the other hand – if the PM hear’s  her quote following her re-election…you can read it here in The Guildford Dragon… maybe not! 


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