The Waverley Web is celebrating! We are delighted to announce it’s new owner – The Trinity Mirror Group.

The owners of The Aldershot News, Surrey Advertiser; Woking News & Mail; ; etc, etc, now all rolled into just one newspaper covering the whole of the  of Surrey area… now wants to creep into our little WEB.

A Spokesman for The Group, Ms Ula Tarant, owner of all the local rags (except of course the Farnham and Haslemere Heralds,) claimed  it wants to add a major local player  to hang in its Trinity Stable. Of course, it’s a well-known fact that when the competition gets too much for publishing giants they normally just squash the competition! 

But she said:  We understand you can’t rid Surrey  of spiders, only attempt to contain them. So rather than take  a defensive stance against such a resilient part  of nature we decided to marvel at them – and persuade them to join us in exposing local issues.

So,  the Waverley Web has spun  such a successful tangled web, that instead of crushing us under foot, or  swatting us into oblivion – it wants to buy us  lock, stock and web.

It has abandoned  efforts to eliminate the WWeb with broad spectrum insecticides and the frenzied smashing techniques normally called upon by Arachnophobes. Rumours that we could be eliminated by osage orange, horse chestnuts and copper pennies proved equally unsuccessful so there was nothing else for it – to dig deep into their pockets and buy us! 

It has already offered an undisclosed sum – believed to be “several millions, which according to our furry friend just isn’t enough!  

So will it now be found  hanging around in the dark and dimly lit corners of The Mill Building in Guildford – soon  to be sold  for development to provide the funds to Widen  Waverley’s Web?

Now, as  journalists bite the web dust on a daily basis the Advertiser wants to include a more humorous edge to its on-line reporting with our  help. 

‘Spider’s have feelings too ‘ –  said a spokesman for the company. ” We know our GET Surrey readers are turned off by  irritating adverts and  we want to bring a little laughter into the lives of our readers.  We will Get Surrey away from the everyday gloom  if we can attract a  new acquisition,and  shine a little light relief into the darkest corners of our readers’ lives  by buying the little blighters!

So next time you see a Web hanging from a dark and dingy corner, possibly  on the inside of  of a Lamborghini or a Ferrari Testosterone – it will be a much wealthier Waverley Web!