This will put you in the mood:

Hush, whisper it who dares, but, in the immortal words of Adele Adkins, rumour has it Waitrose and John Lewis Home might be on its way  to Cranleigh …

Yes, that’s right, the long Wait (that) a-rose when landowners played fast and loose with Waitrose some 30 years ago may finally be over.

The word on the street is,  that if the owners of Hewitts Industrial Estate’s proposal to build housing on the brownfield site fails at appeal – due to be heard in the first quarter of 2017 – Waitrose / John Lewis, flushed with the success of their recently opened Horsham store, plan to step in and make Threadneedle an offer they simply can’t refuse.

Such an exciting development will divide Cranleigh folks: the yummy mummies are, apparently, orgasmic at the prospect of having Waity’s on their door-step and their hedge-fund-husbands aren’t displeased either as the arrival of Waitrose can always be relied upon to give house prices a boost! We checked with Horsham agents and prices in the vicinity of its new store have rocketed and many  of its  customers are travelling from Cranleigh and the villages! Of course  Farnham has boasted a Waitrose  for years but would envy Cranleigh if it was to get a Home store too!

Local traders – with one or two notable exceptions – should be pleased too, as a Waitrose in Cranleigh would boost footfall in the town – always assuming pedestrians are prepared to pound the pavements into Cranleigh Central.

Of course there is one trader in particular who, encouraged by other, less straight-forward members of the Chamber of Commerce, who was persuaded to object to the prospect of housing at Hewitts Industrial Estate may well be shocked at this turn of events. As the song goes… Bless [his] soul he has had his head in the clouds and been made a fool out of and boy will [this news] bring him down.

Residents of Dunsfold, Hascombe and Hambledon should be pleased, though, because instead of turning left out of Dunsfold New Town and heading to Waitrose Godalming along the B2130, the residents of Dunsfold New Town will be more likely to turn right and head into Waitrose Cranleigh.

Only trouble is … if Waitrose Cranleigh has a John Lewis Home attached to it the good folks of Godalming, Hambledon, Hascombe and Dunsfold might themselves want to turn right and start clogging up the roads between the villages as they all head for John Lewis Home in Cranleigh …

But no, of course they won’t, they’re far too considerate to do that. After all, they know how much they hate the idea of traffic from Dunsfold New Town traversing their villages so they wouldn’t dream of inflicting themselves and their cars on poor old Cranleigh would they?! Think of the children? No one would be so selfish as to not practice what they preach … would they?

On the other hand, in the immortal if bastardised words of the great Adele, Waitrose Cranleigh could bring them down, make their hearts melt and if rumour has it, Waitrose Godalming/Horsham may not have their love any more.

We at Waverley Web would just remind them – it is, after all, New Year’s Eve – of the words of that other great bard – yes, the Scottish one:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of Waitrose Godalming gone?
Let’s hope not!

Happy New Year to you all.