THE LONG WAIT(rose) MAY FINALLY BE OVER?

This will put you in the mood:

screen-shot-2016-05-11-at-15-36-49

Hush, whisper it who dares, but, in the immortal words of Adele Adkins, rumour has it Waitrose and John Lewis Home might be on its way  to Cranleigh …

Yes, that’s right, the long Wait (that) a-rose when landowners played fast and loose with Waitrose some 30 years ago may finally be over.

The word on the street is,  that if the owners of Hewitts Industrial Estate’s proposal to build housing on the brownfield site fails at appeal – due to be heard in the first quarter of 2017 – Waitrose / John Lewis, flushed with the success of their recently opened Horsham store, plan to step in and make Threadneedle an offer they simply can’t refuse.

Such an exciting development will divide Cranleigh folks: the yummy mummies are, apparently, orgasmic at the prospect of having Waity’s on their door-step and their hedge-fund-husbands aren’t displeased either as the arrival of Waitrose can always be relied upon to give house prices a boost! We checked with Horsham agents and prices in the vicinity of its new store have rocketed and many  of its  customers are travelling from Cranleigh and the villages! Of course  Farnham has boasted a Waitrose  for years but would envy Cranleigh if it was to get a Home store too!

Local traders – with one or two notable exceptions – should be pleased too, as a Waitrose in Cranleigh would boost footfall in the town – always assuming pedestrians are prepared to pound the pavements into Cranleigh Central.

Of course there is one trader in particular who, encouraged by other, less straight-forward members of the Chamber of Commerce, who was persuaded to object to the prospect of housing at Hewitts Industrial Estate may well be shocked at this turn of events. As the song goes… Bless [his] soul he has had his head in the clouds and been made a fool out of and boy will [this news] bring him down.

Residents of Dunsfold, Hascombe and Hambledon should be pleased, though, because instead of turning left out of Dunsfold New Town and heading to Waitrose Godalming along the B2130, the residents of Dunsfold New Town will be more likely to turn right and head into Waitrose Cranleigh.

Only trouble is … if Waitrose Cranleigh has a John Lewis Home attached to it the good folks of Godalming, Hambledon, Hascombe and Dunsfold might themselves want to turn right and start clogging up the roads between the villages as they all head for John Lewis Home in Cranleigh …

But no, of course they won’t, they’re far too considerate to do that. After all, they know how much they hate the idea of traffic from Dunsfold New Town traversing their villages so they wouldn’t dream of inflicting themselves and their cars on poor old Cranleigh would they?! Think of the children? No one would be so selfish as to not practice what they preach … would they?

On the other hand, in the immortal if bastardised words of the great Adele, Waitrose Cranleigh could bring them down, make their hearts melt and if rumour has it, Waitrose Godalming/Horsham may not have their love any more.

We at Waverley Web would just remind them – it is, after all, New Year’s Eve – of the words of that other great bard – yes, the Scottish one:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of Waitrose Godalming gone?
Let’s hope not!

Happy New Year to you all.

screen-shot-2016-12-20-at-10-19-57

This wonderful world that is Waverley.

As we sweep the nutshells under the carpet, stack the empties into the recycling bins and sort through our environmentally friendly wrapping paper … it is time to reflect on the past and the future.

 We now have Guildford/Cranleigh  MP Matron Milton  not content with controlling her own ward demanding that the views of the democratically elected members of “Your Waverley” on the future of Dunsfold airfield go into the bins marked ‘TRASH’ whilst  Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt whose patch actually includes Dunsfold is eager to see homes built there. And… he actually lives in Markwick Lane, Dunsfold.

No doubt they nodded to each other at the Westminster Jivolities over Christmas – or maybe – they both agree that Waverley, just like Mrs Miton’s constituency of Guildford, needs to take their share of more homes, but Annie fears for the future of her Cranleigh support  so is covering her backside by joining campaigners to get the Secretary of State to overturn the decision. Saying  she is “On the case”

The Waverley Web overheard a member of Woking Borough Council say recently he would:  “give his eye teeth to have such a huge brownfield site as Dunsfold  aerodrome in my patch.” But, then of course Dunsfold or the villages of Alfold /Dunsfold /Hascombe and Loxwood aren’t in his patch or for that matter in Annie’s patch are they?

Now  South West Surrey’s JH has thrown a great big spanner in the works – must have been talking to our friend Bramley’s very own By-Pass Byham?    announcing he is in talks with Transport Secretary Chris Grayling about re-opening the Downlink Railway line closed more than 50 years ago,  which would relieve pressure on the A281 Horsham to Guildford route. So impressed was he by Waverley Borough Councillor Nick Holder’s concern for the road that he knocked on the door of the Transport Department and asked them to give it a go.  They said yes, and would give him an answer in the New Year.

Now isn’t that clever – and isn’t that what the Flying Scotsman suggested more than a decade ago? Now JH thinks it’s a good idea to think up “creative solutions to help people get around over the next 10/20 years when the new homes are built.” ONLY TOOK A DECADE TO COME TO THAT CONCLUSION!   and… you know what Scottie could probably have afforded to do it back then?

Will re-opening the line put a … 

screen-shot-2016-12-30-at-10-15-30

smile on Annie’s face   – Definitely Not – she is already on record saying if the railway was to return Cranleigh IT would morph into a New Town. Oh, perhaps she hasn’t noticed – with 800 homes already approved … it already has!  

JUST YOU WATCH THIS SPACE – WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO COMPLAIN ABOUT RE-OPENING THE RAILWAY LINE..?  Yep… you guessed the villagers of Bramley including BPByham … because he lives in Linersh Wood which backs on the old railway line! but then BPB is an expert at looking after his own backyard and so***** up everyone elses!

Screen Shot 2016-12-30 at 08.17.33.pngScreen Shot 2016-12-30 at 08.18.20.png

So Transport Secretary  Chris Grayling may hold the key to The east of Waverley’s future growth?

How? now – POW Brown Cow!

Grazing in the Green Green Grass of Hascombe village!

Funny old world – isn’t it. Highway experts raise all sorts of objections to the dangerous things people do on or near the highway – but when it comes to distractions this has to take the cow pat . And so far the county council has ignored the hazard.

NIL Point – to the Protect Our Waverley Group for angering law abiding motorists braving the challenging fog, rain, ice  and all the difficult driving conditions that Winter  presents.

The owners of this converted shed –  gained  planning permission for its conversion into residential use for their – daughter. This was  against planning officers’ advice – but now they feel it incumbent upon them to stop development two miles down the road at Dunsfold Airfield ,  thereby preventing others from the chance of obtaining  a home of their own.

Selfish or what – and a  Merry Christmas to you too.

Screen Shot 2016-12-23 at 19.29.06.png
Just watch it Waverley motorists if you are travelling along the Dunsfold Road through Hascombe. But   don’t take your eyes off the road because …  cars are swerving due to motorists unable to keep their eyes off … The Protect Our Waverley – (from development) Cow which is  is grazing in the green green grass.

Shock horror – application to build… An Old Soaks Homes in “Your Waverley,”

Screen Shot 2015-12-19 at 17.20.20HAPPY CHRISTMAS FROM ALL OUR SPIDERS ENTANGLED IN THE WAVERLEY WEB.

Just a little Christmas Song to get you in the mood for a drink!

But, not too many mind because for hazardous drinking Waverley is up there with the big boys in Runnymede!

The Waverley Web is not entirely sure where in the borough developers intend to build The Old Soaks Home – but as Farnham and Cranleigh appear to be pretty popular with the hard hat brigade – it could very well be in one or other – maybe, even in both towns?

waverleyoldsoakshome.jpg

Although the planning application has not yet been registered, according to planning officer, John Collins – (because planning officers are far too busy weighing it  – along with all the others) he  believes, it could be considered “early in the New Year. Not sure which one.”  But after a Christmas break, when all the inebriates are in most need of a good home he said it could be …. A very Welcome Tonic?  

 Only outline  details are currently available but we have  heard from the applicant’s agent Calva  Dos  and Partners, on behalf of the Applicant Jim Sling   –  it will certainly be popular in  Screen Shot 2016-12-20 at 13.56.59.pngthe Waverley borough which according to the rum bunch  at neighbourhood.statistics.gov.uk, boasts some of the hardest and hazardous drinkers in the country!

 Surrey County Council spokesman,  Ashley Spumente said

although our experts were concerned about the possibility of mobility scooters managed  by inebriates being driven along footways, in view of the fact that we have closed all the nursing homes  in Surrey we will would not be making a highway objection. He said:

“There are old soaks, and bold soaks, fortunately there are not too many old bold soaks.

So take it steady guys and gals – and that means all you lot at Waverley Towers – and whatever you do DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE! 

All line up for ‘Your Waverley’s” Christmas pants.

When one of our Waverley Webbers wrote this piece the prescriptive text took over – but then we thought perhaps Pants was a better description.

 

Screen Shot 2016-12-20 at 15.20.35.pngScreen Shot 2016-11-07 at 21.48.47.png

Screen Shot 2016-11-10 at 19.39.26.png

 

 

AND We mean YOU ALL At the Waverley Web! Got it?

 

Oh yes they are…Oh No they’re not … and we here at the WW have been doing our homework to obtain “Your Waverley’s” Pantomime  Secret and  “behind closed doors” Cast List: 

In the Leaders Role in producing this year’s festive Pantomime is non other than

Gone-to-Potts.

A star performance is predicted from Bramley’s very own   – By-Pass Byham as Widow Swankey Twankey; and the Ugly Sisters – ” Carol King and – a Touch of Frost!

Baron Hardup is played by Graeme Clark; Prince Charming “Sunny” Jim Edwards; Wishy Washy – Robert Knowless; and the Wicked Stepmother – “The Omen,” CinderEllis  – by Patricia and The Good Fairy:  Carole Cockburn; – Buttons- Up (Oh yes we wish you would) Gerry Hyman;  Daisy The Cow  – “Our Elsie” (Silly old MOO) Who else?   Wen-am-I-leaving this place –  as Man (It must be – Friday?)  and Simple Simon Thornton/Inchbold? 

In charge of Elf and Safety is…. non other than Alfold’s Kevin De’Anus?

Screen Shot 2016-11-19 at 22.20.38.png
Once a thriving pub – now the new Waverley Towers? Remember The Drinks are on us – because we always put taxpayers money to good use – don’t we – Oh! No you don’t Oh Yes We do!

14753363_10154590891356613_4360369967894432665_o.jpg

Screen Shot 2016-12-20 at 12.57.11.png
Beautifully put Mr Jones – we couldn’t have put it better ourselves. 

And.. with our grateful thanks to that great newspaper The Farnham Herald/Haslemere Herald  that serve the West of the Waverley Borough so well with its accurate and informative reporting . Pity really that it couldn’t spread its net wider into Trinity Mirror “we know how to get it wrong country” over there in the East?